We see a man in swimming trunks standing outside an airport terminal with three other men in suits.
They all walk up to the Ryan Air check in desk.
The man in the swimming trunks places his boarding pass, on line check in papers and passport onto the counter as he speaks.
MAN
"My names Kevin Hurst, these are my details. I am booked onto flight 097097K to Amsterdam"
RYAN AIR RECEPTIONIST
"I see sir; well we'll just go through your details and make sure everything is in order"
MAN
"Oh it is!"
RYAN AIR RECEPTIONIST
"Baggage?"
MAN
"I have none"
RYAN AIR RECEPTIONIST
"Will sir be....."
The man interjects
MAN
"No, I won't be watching anything, eating anything, sitting near a window or anything else for that matter including using the toilet. I booked this flight four months ago for £7. I have my solicitor and a travel expert from 'Which' magazine with me. I also have a senior supervisor with Trading Standards with me as well. So I will not be paying anything other the amount stipulated on the documentation!"
RYAN AIR RECEPTIONIST
"Airport Tax"
MAN
"I booked prior to it being levied and as my documentation will testify there are no grounds whatsoever for you to increase the price, I am flying today for £7 and no one but no one is going to stop me or get an extra penny out of me!
The Ryan Air woman looks livid, she turns her back to the man, she then picks up a telephone and mumbles into it.
A man in a suit with a mangers badge appears behind the counter
RYAN AIR MANAGER
"Right sir what seems to be the problem?"
MAN
"There is no problem, I have a £7 ticket, and I'm logged in, checked in and ready to fly!"
The manager is pissed right off
RYAN AIR MANAGER
"Have you insurance?"
MAN
"I have purchased that direct from Lloyds of London"
RYAN AIR MANAGER
"It says on your form you paid by debit card sir, unfortunately they haven't included that levy so..."
TRADING STANDARDS MAN
Interjects
"Mr Hurst paid using a Ryan Air pre paid Mastercard as per your own policy of August 2011 which I then verified had not been subject to review nor amendment at the time of purchase, as such no additional levies are due in respect of booking charges!"
RYAN AIR MANAGER
"The name on the ticket says Mr Hurst but your passport says Kevin Hurst that means...."
SOLICITOR
"There is no anomaly in relation to either the ticket or passport, Mr Hurst is entitled by law to have the option of not citing his first name as it classed under British Law as being a 'Christian' name when my client is in fact a pagan. As such he may omit his FIRST name without any contravention of your Terms & Conditions as per paragraph ten, sub section 18!"
RYAN AIR MANAGER
"I see well everything seems in order would you like to come through and get on the plane first and choose a seat?"
MAN FROM WHICH
"Would that entail Mr Hurst being treated under the 'Priority Boarding Scheme'?
RYAN AIR MANAGER
"Yes but that's only £32"
MAN
"How many times do you have to be told? I have no intention of paying extra for anything. It is my intention to be the first person to use your airline without incurring any additional costs
RYAN AIR MANAGER
"Very well sir, please take a seat and wait for your flight to be announced!"
The four men walk over and sit on a bench facing the check in. The manager and the receptionist then start talking hurriedly amongst themselves"
The flight is called and the man in the swimming trunks stands up and shakes the hands of the men in suits and causally strolls toward the plane.
As he approaches the door of the plane the greeting stewardess stumbles and the man helps her up. As he does so his gaze is drawn to her half open blouse, the stewardess is not wearing a bra.
The pilot comes out and looks down at the mans trunks which are now very rude
PILOT
"I'm sorry sir we have children on this flight I must insist you cover yourself up"
The man is completely embarrassed and takes a blanket offered and quickly covers himself and takes his seat,
The pilot then takes the stewardess behind the curtain
PILOT
"Right Maureen put your bra back on and go and get the forty quid for the blanket"
The pilot then returns to the cockpit and gives a thumbs up through the window to the Manager who is standing on the runway!
