We see a man dressed in a suit, his jacket is over his shoulders his sleeves are rolled up and he is wearing a Panama hat and carrying a brief case with a civil service crest on it. The man is very hot very bothered and looks almost exhausted .
He is standing next to some rocks
There is another man dressed like a mountain mujahedeen, who then speaks in an Oxbridge accent.
CARRUTHERS
"Were not far now sir, the base is just over the next ridge"
CIVIL SERVANT
"They're certainly remote, but are they important enough? We need influence in this region Carruthers and that comes from strong allies. I'd have to say their remoteness and small numbers have raised more than an eyebrow in Whitehall.
CARRUTHERS
"Admittedly there's only fifty of them sir, but they're extremely formidable even for this region !"
CIVIL SERVANT
"Do we know anything of their politics or religion?"
CARRUTHERS
"That's just it sir they're neither political or religious but they are extremely radical, they killed three men in Hada for having head lice"
CIVIL SERVANT
"That is radical! So how do we approach them? what to your mind will bring them onside?"
CARRUTHERS
"Oddly enough it was they who contacted us sir. From what I can gather they've developed a real taste for Jacobs Cream Crackers. Apparently they found two case loads in one of our supply trucks that they hijacked a few weeks back "
CIVIL SERVANT
"So what you're saying is they'll throw in with us for 'Crackers?'"
CARRUTHERS
"Jacobs crackers sir' these people won't accept anything else. There was a baker in the disputed zone who was selling his own crackers and they travelled for three days to get them. From what was left of the baker's village it would appear that his crackers were not up to standard."
CIVIL SERVANT
"Well supplying these people with crackers shouldn't be...."
CARRUTHERS
Interjects
"Jacobs crackers , it HAS to be Jacobs sir!"
CIVIL SERVANT
"As I was saying! If all these people want is Jacob Crackers I can do the deal today. I'm sure the RAF can sort out dropping them as many as they want!"
CARRUTHERS
"Oh I forgot to mention they also want eighty million in cash, four tanks, sixty surface to air missiles and two truck loads of pickled onions"
The civil servant heads downhill away from Carruthers in disgust.
