Fertility Doctor

MR AND MRS JONES IN A DOCTOR'S SURGERY

DOCTOR

Ah, Mr and Mrs Jones. How are you? Take a seat. Now, I know you've been trying for a baby for a very long time, but I have your test results here and I think we've finally got to the bottom of the problem. The first thing to say, Mr Jones, is that the tests show that your sperm count is absolutely fine. Nothing wrong there.

MR JONES

Well, that's a relief.

DOCTOR

Indeed.

MRS JONES

Oh no, it's me isn't it? There's something wrong with me?

DOCTOR

I'm afraid so. I have your test results here too and I'm afraid to say it's not good news. In fact, in my 20 years as a fertility specialist I'd have to say you have the lowest sperm count I've ever seen.

MRS JONES

(SOB!)

DOCTOR

I'm very sorry Mrs Jones. According to these results you have no sperm whatsoever.

MR JONES

Is there anything we can do, doctor?

DOCTOR

I'm afraid not.

MRS JONES

(SOB!)

[END]

I had to read it twice Kev, but v.good.

Very good and nice to see you back.

Personally I'd have made the woman a second bloke.

Like the set up, but feel it peters out a bit at the end.
I would like to see it develop after the "Is there anything we can do?" line.
Just feels like it needs resolving.

I couldn't think of any directions to take it in that were funnier than the first (only) gag, so I left it as it is.

I agree with sootyj, kind of.

How about just showing the doctor, and having the couple as off-screen voices, until the end shot? Ending it earlier too.

Quote: Kevin Murphy @ September 4 2012, 12:18 AM BST

MRS JONES V/O

Oh no, it's me isn't it? There's something wrong with me?

MRS JONES (CRYING INTO 'HER' BEARD')
(END)

View original

If the woman were a man there would be no joke. At least, there wouldn't be this joke. And this joke is better than the man-man one, I think.