Self publicizing bulimic Victoria Beckham claimed yesterday that she is, " fed up with being treated like a piece of meat ".
Pouting like a nutter at our reporter Peter Musgrove she stormed, " Every time a man looks my way they always undress me and visualise us being in bed together with me taking it up the Charlie Anne. I'm sick of it ".
After 3 minutes of further frenzied pouting Posh continued, " I mean I'm an intelligent girl with lots to say. I have views on world poverty and childhood deprivation and everything........I know where Wolverhampton is for Christsake ".
"People think I live in this bubble and have no understanding of real life or real people. I'm sorry but that's just not the case. "
At this point the interview terminated when Mrs Beckham's six bare chested minder's picked up the 6st celebrity, raised her over their heads and sang an a cappella version of " Spice up your life " as they carried Posh to her helicopter.
In a recent Mori poll only 12 % of British men said that they would take Victoria up the Dartford Tunnel if they had the chance.
I loved it Pete, very funny.