The Jones brothers

We see a police cell with an open hatch, a mans head appears at the hatch.

1st man

"Get me out this cell before I rip it to f**king pieces you gang of bastards, I'll f**king kill all of you!"

There is a scuffle as another similar face appears at the cell hatch

2nd man

"Officer officer please this has nothing to do with me, I'm completely innocent!

Another scuffle ensues the first man reappears at the hatch

1st man

"Take no notice of him pigs, we both did it and we'll do it again no one stops the Jones brothers"

Yet another scuffle and a change of faces at the hatch

2nd man

"This is wrong I've done nothing I should be home in bed I don't even drink never mind act disorderly"

Scuffle etc

1st man

"F**k the lot of you, I've drank three bottles of scotch and I don't give a f**k!"

Desk Sergeant

"Why the hell did you nick the Jones brothers lad? you know what always happens!"

Constable

"I don't see why they should get special treatment just because they're Siamese Twins.

Yes, that's funny.

I didn't see it coming.

Me either. Plus, after the punchline, my brain skipped quickly back and saw the sketch all over again and enjoyed it...again.

Thank you both.

That's two of your sketches I have just read and loved them both.

High praise indeed thank you.

I like that one.

There was two of them.

Nice sketch.

A clever idea Teddy, I like it

Thanks all, it was in reality a rehash of a very old joke set up, but I think I hid it well enough to get a punchline.

This is too long to be a simple reveal joke and the reveal isn't very strong. The idea of a good/bad set of siamese twins could be a good recurring character though.

Thanks for the feedback Ben, as you know comedy is very subjective and not everyone will like everything.

In relation to the mechanics of the sketch I believe that the length was vital in order to establish that there were two people in the cell with opposing views.

The 'reveal' is actually a punchline as we do not see the Jones brothers conjoined body. That said I think it was as strong as it could be within the framework created.

As for reoccurring theme I'm not a fan of repetitive characters, I have done them in the past but given the size of my extremely small audience I don't want to get side tracked by creating 'In' jokes that offer nothing to the first time viewer.

I also find that with repetitive characters one can tend to create sketches that do not stand up on their own merits as a sketch but require the reader to know the 'Back Story' This would then would require the site to create a 'Clique' section alongside 'Critique' section to create a place were everyone knows the backdrop and sketches can be more haphazard in their approach.

That said I welcome advice and would happily read anyone's rewrite of any of my sketches so as to glean a further understanding of the viewers of the site.

It read quite quickly for me. I write long stuff too, though, so this would be short by my reckoning! My teachers used to say I waffled too much. One would actually write WAFFLE! In the margins all the way down. Cow.

I have trouble distinguishing between short sketches and scenes. I'm still new to the sketch thing.

Joyce I hate to break it too you but you're still prone to waffling and as I was unable to trace your teacher I can offer only this:
W
A
F
F
L
I
N
G

I hope it brought back fond memories.

In relation to the actual content of your post thanks for the input and I'm glad you didn't think it was too long.