Scene 1
Ext: Day, A hill with a multitude of people all tucking into a hearty picnic style meal of bread and fish. Many people are shouting “It’s a miracle.” An official man is walking up the hill carrying a clip board.
Man: Excuse me Sir, are you the owner of this establishment?
Jesus: I don’t think I would call it an establishment as such. To be honest it’s a hill.
Man: Hmmm. Sir, I’m from the Department of Food Safety. And this hill has certainly not got a licence for the selling of food.
Jesus: Oh I wasn’t selling it. Just giving it away.
Man: You won’t last long in the trade with that approach young man. Anyway, you still need a licence.
Jesus: Its only a one off.
Man: You need a licence. We can do it now. How would define your establishment, a take away? A Deli?
Jesus: I don’t know? I’m just giving away some bread and fish.
Man: (Scribbles on form) Let’s call it a sandwich bar. How many employees do you have?
Jesus: Hmm well, I’ve got twelve followers.
Man: I couldn’t give two tosses about social media. I just hope they all have food hygiene certificates!
Jesus: I doubt it, although maybe Peter has. He was a fisherman. His world has been turned upside down recently, probably end that way.
Man: I’m not happy about that fish. Is it fresh?
Jesus shrugs shoulders
Man: One thing is for sure I can’t allow you to continue preparing it on that pile of stones. You haven’t even wiped them down.
Jesus: look I’m not going to be here tomorrow.
Man: You’re certainly not. I’ve just seen the filth under your finger nails. I’m putting a suspension notice on this little game.
Slaps a sticker on the ground. And walks off. Jesus looks mystified. Another man walks over and drops a pile of baskets at Jesus’s feet.
2nd Man: Hello Sir, I’m from the Department of Refuse collection.
Ends.