A poor yoke to get cracking

We see a burnt out building with a surviving sign identifying it as a 'Farm Shop'
The grass outside the shop is covered in motor bike tracks.

DI Forshaw

"What are we looking Rodgers?"

PC Rodgers

"Who ever it was drove a motorbike right through the shop and smashed over four hundred eggs and six milk urns, before torching the place sir. The farmer & his wife were in bed, it was dark so they didn't see anyone, but they're positive that they heard a motorbike!"

DI Forshaw

"Its an easy mistake to make son but this is no ordinary motor bike, this is the work of a scrambler"

Not quite 'Four Candles' or 'The Dead Parrot' but I've certainly seen worse sketches than this on the TV.

This is a yoke Teddy back!!

Welcome back Teddy.

I like the general concept of the sketch which has a very good groan ending. I think the setup could be a bit shorter and I don't see the relevance of the farm being burnt down?

It was the Farm Shop that burnt down as the fire was important on the recipe front. As for keeping it short I think I did as much as possible without losing the details needed to make the joke.
Thanks for noting the groan at the end, I do like a groan and this was one of those type of jokes that was never going to have a real punchline.

To be honest its just nice to be back writing and putting stuff up and above all getting a bit of feedback.

Would putting the word 'ordinary' in front of 'motorbike' help the flow a little?
Neat gag - nice quick laugh.

Great eye and good call Lazzard I never saw it and I know it takes the thing up a notch.

Good sketches can be short or long but, no matter how long they are, they should be trimmed of ALL excess verbiage.

Again, that's not to say that all dialogue should be short. If a character is verbose, his verbiage isn't excessive in the context of the script.

Also, the English language frequently offers many different words that mean essentially the same thing. it's important to use the right word(s) to get the best comedy effect.

For example, not many people would refer to 'over 400 eggs'. They'd be more likely to say 'more than 30 dozen' - and it's funnier to use dozens because people can visualize 30 dozen eggs more easily than they can 400 eggs.

In fact, when you think about it, that many eggs aren't very many in the context of the terrible damage that's been caused. Maybe up the number to 300 dozen?

For similar reasons, we should look at the milk - and for some reason 'six milk urns' isn't nearly as funny as (however many) litres, because litres paint the mental picture of all those cartons being smashed and splashed all over the place.

Drive a motor bike at speed into six milk urns and the milk will run all over the floor. Drive it into a huge stack of milk cartons and the flying milk will hit all the walls and most of the ceiling before running down onto the floor. It's just funnier.

To get the recipe right, you'd need about 200 litres of milk to make 300 dozen scrambled eggs. And I assure you, there are countless comedy-loving cooks and chefs who will adore you for getting that detail right.

And do your policemen need names? It doesn't really matter but 'Senior Cop' and 'Junior Cop' seem better to me.

So, my idea of your tuned-up, pared-down script would look something like this:

We see a burnt out building with a surviving sign identifying it as a 'Farm Shop'. The grass outside the shop is covered in motor bike tracks. Two policemen are discussing the incident.

Junior Cop:

"Someone drove a motorbike right through the shop and smashed 300 dozen eggs and 200 litres of full cream milk before torching the place, Sir. The farmer was in bed, but he heard a motorbike!"

Senior Cop:

"And no ordinary motor bike either. This is the work of a scrambler"

ENDS

Thanks for that Veronica, whilst I can see your point I have to confess I am not really a sketch writer. My forte is sitcom scripts as such I have a tendency to look at my sketches as mere whims which I never save or repeat so I very rarely dissect them anywhere near the extent I would if it was a script.

That said thank you for taking the time to explain and display your point with my assurance that I will look at my scripts for such nuances.

Good visual pun.

Cheers kid.