Rake & Herald

Following a suggestion by Sootyj, I'm hereby starting a Rake & Herald Showcase thread.

Unlike other 'comedy' or 'satirical' websites, we actually report on real news and events as opposed to simply making things up. We also have a serious side (eg http://www.therakeandherald.tv/culture/culturestory.php?id=175).

Anyway, to kick things off and to celebrate all the major sporting events that have been taking place of late in the States, here's some recent examples of our competitive eating coverage (most recent posts first although to understand some of the running gags etc you should really start from the oldest if you can be arsed).

Hamburgers

http://www.therakeandherald.tv/society/societystory.php?id=163

Gyoza

http://www.therakeandherald.tv/society/societystory.php?id=162

Tacos

http://www.therakeandherald.tv/society/societystory.php?id=160

http://www.therakeandherald.tv/society/societystory.php?id=159

Chicken Wings

http://www.therakeandherald.tv/society/societystory.php?id=156

http://www.therakeandherald.tv/society/societystory.php?id=154

http://www.therakeandherald.tv/society/societystory.php?id=153

A fair few links there that I don't expect everyone to click on but should you do so I hope the experience proves rewarding, enlightening, enjoyable and somehow fills you with a sense of pleasant warmth. Or something.

Anyway, I'm off to eat 144 chicken wings in 10 minutes like my hero Joey Chestnut...

Smacznego!

PS If you don't know anything about the greatest sport on Earth and you want to learn more, have a rummage through our earlier posts (in the website's Society section and including our Nathan's hot dog-eating coverage) as this may throw more light on the matter.

PPS If you spot any typos or errors etc, please make sure you enter our amazing give-away competition here: http://www.therakeandherald.tv/stuff/stuffstory.php?id=154

Some impressive stuff on there Rakey. I think Megatoad is one of my favourites for his freaky eating and drinking prowess.

But my absolute favourite is Sonya 'the Black Widow' Thomas. She could eat me under the table....and I'd let her.

I rather like the mixture of research and crisp writing.

Thank you both very much for the positive feedback. I'm very glad you liked it. And yes, Sonya Thomas is truly fantastic.

If it's permissible and not just bumping, here's some true crime.

Bog roll bandit banged to rights http://www.therakeandherald.tv/society/societystory.php?id=164

Toxic Tush fingered by fuzz http://www.therakeandherald.tv/society/societystory.php?id=157

and

Fire in the hole! http://www.therakeandherald.tv/society/societystory.php?id=155

Please don't try these crimes yourselves, especially not the last one. More importantly, don't have nightmares, do sleep well.

MEGATOAD BARKS AT CHESTNUT'S HEELS

More from our award-worthy competitive eating coverage. This time it's ribs.

And if you've ever wanted to know how to make an entry on stage, make sure you watch the video clip at the end. Just before Kok gets his Glock out.

http://www.therakeandherald.tv/society/societystory.php?id=165

I enjoyed this Rakey. Especially the bits of inane dialogue and the translating American into English a la labor (labour).

The brazen cheek! He disappears from the boards for weeks on end then comes round here like butter wouldn't melt in his mouth and starts posting up links to his bloody website.

Well I for one am frankly disgusted.

Anyway, that said, here's what I did on my holidays:

http://www.therakeandherald.tv/stuff/stuffstory.php?id=159

Some more competitive eating for all you gurgitators out there:

Oysters: http://www.therakeandherald.tv/society/societystory.php?id=169

Cannoli: http://www.therakeandherald.tv/society/societystory.php?id=170

Pizza: http://www.therakeandherald.tv/society/societystory.php?id=171

and http://www.therakeandherald.tv/society/societystory.php?id=173

Plus earth-shattering developments in the case of that Aussie bloke who rammed a firework up his freckle:

http://www.therakeandherald.tv/culture/culturestory.php?id=1180

I've just read the report on the Aussie and his firework up the rusty bullet-hole incident. Made me laugh Rakey. I love the way a different description is used each time for the offending dill hole. Very much my sense of humour....sadly. I'll read the rest when I get home from work.

Very glad to hear it, Mr Liar!

Big thanks for the feedback!

How I spent my weekend...

http://www.therakeandherald.tv/society/societystory.php?id=182

Hat tip to Mr Liar for the expression 'dill hole'.

Major cheese smuggling ring smashed. No shit.

http://www.therakeandherald.tv/culture/culturestory.php?id=1195

You can't beat an egg banjo.

http://www.therakeandherald.tv/food/foodstory.php?id=176

Bloody hell, the newswires are abuzz!

Disclosure expected any day soon.

http://www.therakeandherald.tv/culture/culturestory.php?id=1198

Hello

I trust you all had a good New Year.

Apologies for disappearing off the boards for ages/returning but along with the entire Rake & Herald crew I have been in exile in Skegness.

However, that has now passed as kind of explained here:

http://www.therakeandherald.tv/stuff/stuffstory.php?id=160

We are also now running classifieds and sits vacs if anyone's interested:

http://www.therakeandherald.tv/stuff/stuffstory.php?id=161

http://www.therakeandherald.tv/stuff/stuffstory.php?id=162

Have a wonderful day/night.

Apologies for buggering off for so long. It was nothing personal. Just kinda fell out of the habit of checking the boards, something I intend to redress.

Anyway, during my time in the wilderness, the R&H teamed up with Canadian filmmakers the Mexican Hockey League. Here's their latest film.

http://www.therakeandherald.tv/world-news/laird-hardhammer-pulls-it-off.html

Any comments gladly received.