GQT

I think this is all over the place - is it going anywhere?

GARDENER'S QUESTION TIME

GRAMS: Applause

ERIC ROBSON: This week, Gardener’s Question Time comes from the beautiful village of Scratchy Bottom,
in Dorset - where we are guests of the Scratchy Bottom Horticultural Society - the only
double-entendre based Gardening Club in Britain.

MORE APPLAUSE AND CHEERS

ERIC ROBSON: So without further ado - can we have our first question?

PAUL: Paul Hardwinkle, allotment holder. I wonder if the panel would like to take a look at my
plums...

HOOTS OF RIBALD LAUGHTER

ERIC ROBSON: Well, if you’d like to get them out on the table...

MORE HOOTS.

ERIC ROBSON: Should they really be that colour?

EVEN LOUDER HOOTS - A COMEDY TROMBONE

ERIC ROBSON: Well, I think you can put them away now as we move onto our next question please...

DILYS: Dilys Belcher, amateur gardener. My prunus avium has been shedding leaves all summer
and for the past three years has refused to fruit - does the panel think I’m about to lose
my cherry?

HYSTERICAL LAUGHTER, CLAXONS.

ERIC ROBSON: Not in that dress, love.

PEOPE ARE ACTUALLY DYING IN THE AUDIENCE NOW.

ERIC ROBSON: Next! Old lady at the back...

SARAH: Sarah Pratt, Poole Floral Society - it’s about my box...

AN ENCOURAGING CHEER.

ERIC ROBSON: (likes the sound of this) Go on..?

SARAH: Well I’ve quite a sizeable bush - would the panel recomend a good trim.

HUGE CHEER.

ERIC ROBSON: Well, let’s have a look at it.

A PAUSE THEN A HORRIFIED GASP FROM THE AUDIENCE

ERIC ROBSON: Security!!

BOOING & JEERING

SARAH: I don’t understand...

ERIC ROBSON: This is the BBC for Christ’s sake...

SARAH: But...

ERIC ROBSON: That, madam, is NOT your front bottom, and you know it - it’s a bloody plant and not in
the least bit hilarious.

SCUFFLING. MORE BOOING

GUARD: Come on, Madam - it’s for your own good...

SARAH: I’m 72 years old!

MORE JEERING FROM THE AUDIENCE

SARAH: I’m not well.

THE AUDIENCE DON”T CARE - CONTINUE BOOING & JEERING

SARAH: (shouts) I’ve got acute angina...

MOMENTARY PAUSE - THEN HUGE CHEER.

ERIC ROBSON: Goodbye!

I giggled. And felt genuinely bad for Sarah.
Wonder if you could put it in context of a policy decision it would be a nice swipe at commissioning/celebrity/society rather than a sketch that for most of it is juvenile euphemisms? Not that there's anything wrong with juvenile euphemisms.

It put me in mind of a Spitting Image type scenario so worked for me.

Thumbs up from me.

I liked it as well. I think you can get into the jokes a bit quicker though, there's too much establishing we are in GQT territory. E.g.

Quote: Lazzard @ August 16 2012, 7:11 PM BST

ERIC ROBSON: This week, Gardener’s Question Time comes from the Scratchy Bottom Horticultural Society in Dorset - the only
double-entendre based Gardening Club in Britain.

MORE APPLAUSE AND CHEERS

ERIC ROBSON: Our first question comes from Paul Hardwinkle, who has a smallholding.

GUFFAWS

PAUL: Would the panel like to take a look at my
plums...

View original

And you haven't even mentioned hoes...

I liked it a lot, although I didn't warm to the admittedly unexpected twist regarding actual plants being obscene. I felt let down, as if it was a bit inevitable that something like that would happen. But that makes it perfect for, say, the BBC.
This is of course just a matter of my personal taste, and I think your concern for it being all over the place is without grounds. If anything, it's too conformist.

oh, and I don't think Eric Robson would call a lady "old".

Fantastic! I will be listening to GQT with this in mind.

"...I tickled her clematis"

Thanks for the comments and all the suggestions.
Didn't take you lot long to get your Benny Hill hats on, did it?

Sort of think it doesn't work as the point of it (the audiences gleeful reaction to the rudery and disappointment at the straight question) is overshadowed by the toilet-humour.

I wonder if it began with something along the lines of " due to an administrative error tonight's GQT audience has been swopped with "Sorry I Haven't a Clue" audience....?

Then the focus would be on the audience reaction more.

Oh, I don't know....

I listened to GQT this afternoon and tittered throughout thanks to you.

Personally, I think it works as is. You don't need any mixing up of audiences. Your sketch works as a caricature of what already exists. I listen to it every week for the gardening and groan at the weak puns along the way.

Subtlety is the key and I think you have it just right. Any further explanation I feel would take away the recognition from the audience, I.e. their delight at recognising the nuances in the parody.

Whatever you decide, it made my day, so thanks.

An enjoyable romp of a sketch.

Yes
Good fun & nicely done

Very enjoyable. You've even got a comedy trombone sound in there Nice one.

It has an overall atmosphere of funniness - and very few sketches are in that exalted category.

Well done.

Decent and very English.
This genre never goes out of fashion and offers the writer the opportunity to paint on a canvas were the background is already in place.
The dialogue flowed well and it built up to its crescendo Brian Rix style.
A very good example of a wonderful genre.