I like this. A lot. But like others not sure about the punchline.
Going back to the original what about something like?
Scientist: Our research group has been working around the clock to answer one of the questions that all of humanity has asked since the dawn of time... Can parrots play chess?
Reveal parrot and chess board. Parrot moves a peice.
Parrot: Check! Awk!
Scientist pulls out shotgun, shoots parrot etc (or whatever deviant death occuts to Sooty next! 
)
Scientist: The answer is no. No, they can't.