Bad Rover!

2 NASA SCIENTISTS DR BUD AND DR DWIGHT ARE CHATTING IN MISSION CONTROL

DWIGHT
Oh my God you made it! You little wonder, go curiosity go and tell us the Red Planet's secrets.

BUD
Tell all the world, you nuclear, tweeting marvel.

DWIGHT AND BUD HUG EACH OTHER ENTHUSIASTICALLY BEF0RE SITTING DOWN AT THEIR MONITORS

FX
BLEEP

DWIGHT AND BUD CHECK THEIR MOBIS

DWIGHT
It's the first tweet. Sand is 24% nitrogen and 24% methane fascinating atmosphere lighter than air
.
BUD
There's more; just like Tom Daley the fruity little homo I'd like to choke him on his speedos.

DWIGHT
That's not good.

FX
BLEEP

DWIGHT
, gravity half earth normal, must have just been a glitch, wind is tossing up a storm.

BUD
I'd like to see Jessica Ennis toss my spam javelin.

DWIGHT
Do robots even have spam javelins? This is a God damned disaster!

FX BLEEP

BUD CHECKS HIS PHONE

BUD
If I wanted to see 10 black men run a 100 meters in 10 seconds I'd just yell "drunk white chicks in the club!"

FX PHONE RINGS
DWIGHT ANSWERS IT

BUD
uh uh uh.

DWIGHT HANGS UP

DWIGHT
It's worse. The met are launching a mission to Mars over the Tom Daley tweet.

Ha!Ha! This is a great concept. It could possibly be turned into a running gag. The crap that spews out on Twitter would mean you'd never run out of material.

Nice idea, and the punch was good. Maybe the way it got to the punch was a bit too straightforward, although that's just my personal feeling.

Thanks for the feedback I was thinking of making it a fuller skit with more developed characters.

I like the idea a robot on mars that sends it own tweets. But I think it can be shorter with the gag being the offensive tweet.

Possibly turn into a runner.

True could work, I liked the idea of roping in the Mets ridiculous habit of arresting people for tweeting.

True could work, I liked the idea of roping in the Mets ridiculous habit of arresting people for tweeting.

So the gag is the met are the life on mars that it is searching for and they are already there and arrest it???

As opposed to sending a mission?

Eh? No!

The joke is the met will travel millions of miles into deep space to
arrest a robot for making offensive tweets.

As opposed to arresting rapists in Hackney.

No I meant would it work better, if the met were already on Mars, waiting to arrest the tweeter

Oh? Maybe a diferent sketch.

I could see a met police rover chasing curiosity around the sea of infinity

I thought it was very funny, the Jessica Ennis tweet got a bit of a giggle and good way to top it off with the Met police

Thanks, this one may be enroute for news revue.

On the basis that a really good sketch takes one idea and makes the most of it I think this sketch isn't really good. I think you have a really good central idea with the tweeting Mars mission, but you undermine it with the Met Police payoff which is a different idea altogether. The latter seems like a satirical add-on rather than a natural finish to the sketch. If you can make the switch more natural you might get away with it but otherwise I would be tempted to stick with the Mars tweet idea and seek a different ending. I'm sure there's an excellent pithy sketch to be had about wasting police resources on nobods tweeting - especially in the week when a joke tweet celebrated freedom of speech in court - but I don't think this is it.

I dunno I think there's a place for the cross over topical sketch. And in this case there's no natural place for the first half to end.
More to the point a punchline should be something unexpected which draws the rest of the skit together.
Which is easier done with a second related story.

Fair enough, we're allowed to differ on the new improved uber-friendly and supportive Critique.

You're wrong though.