Post Code - short radio sketch

Something I was thinking of putting in the Skit Comp - not sure it's on brief though (On The Move?) - so I thought I'd stick it here

Stephen -middle class, suburban
Geoff - a little more low-rent, a local boy

GRAMS: Phone Ringing

Geoff: Hello?

Stephen: Hi, it’s John (pause) jonno145? - I just bought your lawnmower on E-bay?

Geoff: Oh, Right - nice mower, that - cheers.

Stephen: Pleasure. Now, I was hoping to pick it up this afternoon - all I need is your post code.

Geoff: So, where you coming from?

Stephen: Well, Sevenoaks, as it happens - but if you just let me have the post code...

Geoff: Right. How well do you know Farnham?

Stephen:I don’t, but...

Geoff: Guildford?

Stephen:Look, if you just give me the post code, I’m sure I’ll find you.

Geoff: You don’t know Guildford? Right - so, what’s the best way to go at this...

Stephen: There’s really no need. If I can just have the post code....

Geoff:Which way was you thinking of coming?

Stephen: I wasn’t! I’m going to get in the car, turn on the SatNav and enter the post code - so, if you
wouldn’t mind!

Geoff: You got an A-Z handy?

Stephen:No I bloody haven’t. I’ve got a pencil and paper and all I need from you is selection of six,
possibly seven letters and I can find anywhere in the whole country. It’s a modern bloody
miracle of which you seem to blissfully unaware. It’s called a post code and everyone’s got one.
You’ll find it at the bottom of your address...

Geoff:Calm down, mate - I do know what a post code is...

Stephen: Good. May I have it please?

Geoff:Right.(pause) Now, how well do you know the alphabet...

GRAMShone slamming down

It's good, the punch makes it worth it. I just feel like you could get there a bit quicker but somehow still build the frustration from Stephen.

Quote: Lee @ August 1 2012, 11:37 AM BST

It's good, the punch makes it worth it. I just feel like you could get there a bit quicker but somehow still build the frustration from Stephen.

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Thanks.
i think you're right - make its proper quickie.

That's rather fun.

I like the way you've pulled out a really specifically annoying habit and grown it.

God those people who always know best on directions.

Geoff's wearing a bright golfing jumper isn't he?

Quote: sootyj @ August 1 2012, 12:11 PM BST

That's rather fun.

I like the way you've pulled out a really specifically annoying habit and grown it.

God those people who always know best on directions.

Geoff's wearing a bright golfing jumper isn't he?

View original

Got it in one.
The other thing I hate is people who believe their house can't be found on SatNav - like it some magic fairy house....

Good stuff

Love the Punchline

I like that. I don't think it's too long before the punchline...once the buyer gets irate, he'll be cutting in impatiently and spitting out his lines. The piece will gather pace on its own.

Great example of a common situation. My dad would never buy a modern car because he was a car mechanic before everything got electronic. He couldn't bear the thought of anyone else knowing more about his car than he did! He didn't wear a golf jumper though. He was more a vest and pants man.

As others have said, it's very good. You've kept things simple throughout and stuck to the point. Excellent stuff.

I liked it; it builds nicely and pays off well.

Enjoyed this from the skit comp. I was torn between your entry and Sooty's. As other people have said, it's a great punchline.

I must be the only one that isn't keen on the punch line, I just can't imagine anyone asking that regardless of how thick or annoying they are...

A good build up to it though...

I'd say it was frighteningly realistic (unfortunately!) The alphabet punchline is simply exaggerated escalation. Perfect.