Hunting

I wrote this like 2 days after I wanted to be a comedy writer so if it sucks balls blame 1 year ago Paul.

SCENE. INT. HOUSE. DAY

TONY is shining a gun in the in the living room, HARRY enters.

HARRY
What in the name of my uncle Margaret are you doing?

TONY
(Surprised by the question) err cleaning a gun what does it look like I’m doing.

HARRY
I know that, what are you doing with a gun?

TONY
Oh yeah, I’m taking up hunting.

HARRY
(Annoyed) Oh I see, stamp collecting didn’t tickle your plums so you had to take up hunting. We live in the middle of a bustling city! What are you going to hunt? The remaining shreds of your sanity!

TONY
I find things. Oh by the way do you love Oscar?

HARRY
I love my cat Oscar.

TONY
Correction, you LOVED him (smiling to the camera/audience)

HARRY
That’s it? A minute of dialogue for the punchline to be you killing my cat, you should have at least accidentally shot me or something.

TONY
Ok! (TONY shots HARRY)

HARRY collapses on the flooring rolling in pain.

HARRY
(Sticking his thumbs up to the camera/audience) Now that’s comedy! AHHH!!!

END.

It doesn't suck balls more of a gentle nibble.
I like the banter between the characters with more sack references (tickle your plums)
I liked it, and so did billy and bobby.

Cheers daddy... ball nibbling badness isn't too bad.

tickle your plums, good phrase-it is definitely the way you say it!

Alright, and leaving your plums to one side, the flow of this sketch was really quite good. It put me in mind of the kind of banter Kenny Everett did with the likes of David Essex and Cliff Richard on his Thames show back in the 70's. Small point but the only line that went on a bit for my liking was:

HARRY
That’s it? A minute of dialogue for the punchline to be you killing my cat, you should have at least accidentally shot me or something.

But even so this was still an excellent piece of writing.

thanks muchly Baumski... I may discard the or something... I have a habit of adding pointless words at the end of sentences and stuff.

Agree with Baumski.