Hi All
This was an idea I had 5 years ago that I found.
A WEEK IN THE LIFE OF A....
PINOCCHIO!
MARIONETTE PUPPETS ARE SEEN DANCING.
V.O. PRESENTERV.O.) We all know the tale of the puppet who wanted to be a real boy, but what happened to that boy when he became a real man? Well today we shall find out, because this his story. This is the story of Pinocchio.
THEME MUSIC STARTS.
CUT TO:
Scene 1. INT. 46 BARKHAM CRESCENT - MORNING
PINOCCHIO IS SAT IN AN ARMCHAIR. HE IS IN HIS MID FORTIES, OVERWEIGHT, AND IN NEED OF A SHAVE. HE IS ALSO COVERED IN FAKE TAN AND HAS AN ORANGE GLOW ABOUT HIM. HE IS WEARING A PAIR OF RED DUNGAREE SHORTS THAT ARE FAR TOO SMALL, A PAIR OF CALF LENGTH BOOTS AND A SMALL POINTED HAT. HE IS SMOKING A CIGARETTE.
PINOCCHIOo I said to Michael, that f**king monkey's a fire hazard. The next thing you know the Lamar's enclosure is going up in smoke and Bubbles is pelting Macaulay Culkin with shit! Happy days.
PINOCCHIO STARES OFF WISTFULLY INTO THE DISTANCE.
PRESENTERO.O.V) Did you see much of him?
PINOCCHIO:What? Who?
PRESENTERO.O.V) Michael Jackson.
PINOCCHIO:Not after all that, you know, palaver. Besides I got too old.
PRESENTERO.O.V) How old are you?
PINOCCHIO:Well I was a puppet for thirty three years, and I've been a real boy for 21.
PRESENTERO.O.V) (LAUGHS) You're only twentyone?
PINOCCHIO:And? What's your point?
PRESENTERO.O.V) Nothing, it's just, you seem old beyond your years.
PINOCCHIO:F**king haggard you mean?
PRESENTERO.O.V) I wouldn't say that, no.
PINOCCHIO:Let me tell you something. I've lived. I've done things you could only dream of. This body was made, not by God, but by a man. A sick and twisted man, who's only regret, was that once Social Services found out about me he had to stop rubbing me down with beeswax. Shame really as it's great for the complexion.
PINOCCHIO TAKES A BIG DRAG ON HIS CIGARETTE
PRESENTERO.O.V) They're aren't very good for you you know.
PINOCCHIO LOOKS AT THE PRESENTER OFF CAMERA AND THEN AT THE GLOWING EMBER OF HIS CIGARETTE
PINOCCHIO:It's strange, but when you've been made of wood fire holds a strange fascination for you.
PRESENTERO.O.V) Like a moth.
PINOCCHIO:Moth?
PRESENTERO.O.V) Attracted to the glow.
PINOCCHIO:You ever looked at a train track and wondered what would happen if you just stepped off?
PRESENTERO.O.V) Sometimes.
PINOCCHIO:Well it's like that. When your made of wood fire is your greatest enemy. That and woodlice. Little bastards just nibble away at you. Especially when they get lodged in your dungarees.