This is a thread for preposterous sitcom ideas, the more stupid it is the better.
Mine is loosely based on an idea from Marc Blakes book How not to write a Sitcom. I look forward to reading any others.
This Old House
INT.GRAND DINING HALL - DAY
Colonel GRANDTASH-SMYTHE is eating his breakfast at the table. He is about to butter some toast when THE GHOST OF AHMED appears behind him and runs a curved sword through his back which covers the toast in ectoplasm.
GRANDTASH-SMYTHE
What the Devil?!
AHMED
Curse you, Infidel! Why will you not be dying?
GRANDTASH-SMYTHE picks up a small bell and rings it. CARRUTHERS, a butler, enters.
CARRUTHERS
How may I be of service, Colonel?
AHMED disappears.
GRANDTASH-SMYTHE
Carruthers, that Al-Queda apparition is making a nuisance of himself again, look at my toast!
CARRUTHERS
I shall summon Father Twinkles at once, Sir.
GRANDTASH-SMYTHE
There's a good chap.
CARRUTHERS leaves. AHMED reappears with a ghostly AK-47.
AHMED
Now, Capitalist Pig-Dog, I shall be having my vengance most required.
GRANDTASH-SMYTHE
I should warn you, Sir, that I have employed the services of the finest Exorcist in the county.
AHMED
Spare me your Western propaganda, Demon-Spawn, your end approaches.
Suddenly the door bursts open and FATHER TWINKLES enters followed closely by CARRUTHERS.
father twinkles
(camp)
Oh just look at this room! Only the Dead could love it, this will all have to change.
GRANDTASH-SMYTHE
You are the Exorcist?
FATHER TWINKLES
Oh Sweetie Please. I hate that word, I'm more like a corporeal co-ordinator.
AHMED
Jihad!!!
AHMED fires off a full magazine from his AK-47 and then disappears.
FATHER TWINKLES
My he is a little firecracker isn't he? Although who can blame him with a place this gaudy.
GRANDTASH-SMYTHE
So, Father, erm, Twinkles. What are you going to do about this revenge obsessed Revenant?
FATHER TWINKLES
One word Major..
CARRUTHERS
Colonel!
FATHER TWINKLES
Major-Colonel....Feng Shui!
GRANDTASH-SMYTHE
I beg your pardon?
CARRUTHERS
He means to re-arrange the room, Sir.
GRANDTASH-SMYTHE
Out of the question! The Grandtash-Smythes have lived in this house for countless generations, I will never allow you to desecrate that legacy, never!
AHMED re-appears wearing a ghostly bomb vest.
AHMED
(eyes closed)
Allah-U-Akbar.
He detonates the bomb covering the room and it's occupants in ectoplasm. His head lands in the cereal bowl.
AHMED
Curse you!
He disappears again.
GRANDTASH-SMYTHE
When can you start?
END