British Comedy Guide

Wing Man: Episode 3. First 5 pages

Characters.

Luke late 20's. A sociopath, not much else to say

Kevin mid 20's. Lukes brother, professional, polite and shy

Episode: Family firm. Luke puts his sex list on hold while he tries to hold down a job but his ambitions and eventually his lust get the better of him spelling disaster for the Mcardle engineering firm.

int.office - day

DAY 1. KEVIN is sitting at his desk working. LUKE enters carrying a clipboard.

KEVIN

(without looking up)

Get out!

LUKE

I can't do this anymore, Brother.

KEVIN

Good! There's the door.

LUKE

I don't need an exit, I need a foot up the ladder, I've served my time.

KEVIN

It's been three days!

LUKE

And you know what I found out in those three days, Kevin? Hmm? That the workforce is lazy, apathetic, indolent and...(beat)..other words for lazy.

KEVIN

(bored)

And?

LUKE

They need motivating, that's why uncle Alan brought me in here, to shake things up.

KEVIN

I don't think...

LUKE

He's too soft, Kevin, like Schindler.

KEVIN puts his head in his hands.

KEVIN

Enough!

LUKE

I need to show him I can be his Lieutenant, they'll be knocking out hinges like there's no tomorrow.

KEVIN

We don't make hinges.

LUKE

Well whatever it is we make it needs making quicker or...BANG!

LUKE bangs the clipboard on the desk.

KEVIN

Look, I'm glad you're taking this...seriously, but you need to tone it down a few notches, learn the business, earn the respect of the...

LUKE

Blah, blah, blah. You don't have all the answers college boy, with your computer and your charts and your....other crap. Things are going to change around here, mark my words.

LUKE storms out of the office and slams the door, he storms back in again and picks up the clipboard.

LUKE

Lucky for you that we're family or I'd be writing you up for misappropriation of company property.

LUKE walks out of the office with his head held high and his clipboard under his arm.

INT.ALANS OFFICE - DAY

DAY 4. ALAN is sitting at his desk. There is a knock at the door and KEVIN enters.

KEVIN

You wanted to speak to me Alan?

ALAN

Ah, Kevin, take a seat.

BEAT

KEVIN

This is about Luke, isn't it?

ALAN

Yes, Luke. Your brother has presented me with a bit of a quandary.

KEVIN

I understand.

Alan stands up and walks over to the window.

ALAN

I'm not clever with words like you Kevin so I'll put it in plain English. Your brother is a cu..

KEVIN

I know, Alan, it was good of you to give him a chance.

ALAN

....is a cut above the rest of the lifeless drones that work here.

KEVIN

Oh no.

ALAN

He's opened my eyes Kevin. They're taking liberties down there, with my time and my money.

KEVIN

I'm sure....

ALAN

You're a smart lad, Kevin, with your computer and ...things, but Luke is a born leader.

KEVIN

He is?

ALAN

Oh yes, he's his fathers son alright.

BEAT

ALAN

Not that you're not, of course.

KEVIN

Of course.

ALAN

Anyway, things need to change and Luke's the man to do it, I'm sure he has your support.

KEVIN

He does?

ALAN

Good man.

INT.LOCKER ROOM - DAY

DAY 4. LUKE is standing next to a locker examining his clipboard. He is wearing a short sleeve shirt and tie. KEVIN enters, furious.

LUKE

(looking at his watch)

Away from your post and not on an official break. You're taking liberties with your family connections here, Kevin.

KEVIN

You total bastard!

LUKE

Hey, that's insubordination, don't push it.

KEVIN

I'm going to kill you, do you know that?

LUKE

Threatening behavior Kevin? That's gross misconduct, I can't ignore gross misconduct.

LUKE begins writing on his clipboard. KEVIN grabs it off him and tries to break it in half but is unsuccessful.

LUKE

Oh Kevin, I can't stay mad at you when you look so pathetic.

KEVIN throws the clipboard across the locker room in frustration.

KEVIN

Go up there and tell him he's made a massive mistake.

LUKE

Give up my dream, Kevin, is that what you mean?

KEVIN

My dream, you bastard! I'm the one that went to college and worked here for the last 8 years while you.......

LUKE

(mocking)

"While you went swanning round the world". Let it go Bruv, I'm here now and not a moment too soon.

KEVIN

This isn't over.

KEVIN kicks a locker and storms off.

LUKE

That's abuse of company property.

LUKE ducks as his clipboard is thrown at him.

Hey Shaun, this has been a really interesting read for me. Your script is super tight and it made me laugh a couple of times.

The thing about Kevin having a computer is probably my favourite aspect. It's great the way it really sums up the kind of place he is working and serves as a shortcut to getting to know the environment.

I can't think of anything negative to say and that's not because I'm being nice but maybe because I am not experienced enough Huh?

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