After the acquittal of PC Simon Harwood for killing Ian Tomlinson there have been some questions of why the jury weren't informed he was a violent nutbar with a power complex. A spokesman said 'Did they not see the uniform?'
OR
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Getting away with murder.
Getting away with murder who?
The Metropolitan Police Force, again.
With hindsight it was probably a mistake to show a double bill of "The Dark Knight Rises" and "Things to do in Denver When You're Dead".
SPORTS ANNOUNCER:
And here we are at the 4X4. It's a great looking car and should be able to get all the members of the S4G security team home both safely and efficiently.
Many foreign athletes at the London Olympics are expected to be triple jumpers - but that's the cold English summer for you.
It's a shame to see such a decline in police standards. In my day they at least had the decency to get you into the cells first.
It'd probably be bad taste to point out that:
From silent black& white movies to dolby Imax 3-D, cinema just keeps getting more realistic - which is why it's years since I've watched any movie with violence in it.
And since it's probably bad taste, I won't point it out.
-------
The neighbours of the Denver Batman shooter knew he was a villain when they noticed his house was built at a 30 degree angle.
Is that clear as a 60s Adam West Batman reference? Not too sure how much kids today know the series...
Following some wayward shots in the Open, Rory Mcllroy has been asked to take part in a government scheme aimed at waking teenagers up in an effort to get them back to work.
A seventeen year old youth was arrested in Gravesend for attempting to snatch the olympic torch, He was charged with assault but no battery as they were not included.
(1) Authorities in Colorado have released the gunman without charge after it was revealed that a mix-up in the cinema had resulted in the accidental showing of "Batman and Robin".
--------------------
(2) Adam Scott leads The Open after shooting 64 in the first round.
"I f**king hate Batman" said the 32-year-old Australian.
UK announces lie detector tests for all sex offenders after research confirmed that most paedophiles don't even own a puppy.
I think there's mileage in the "triple jumpers" gag - but I would steer clear of paedophile or batman shooting gags.
(nb that's not a one liner...)
Tom Cruise has dramatically pulled out of carrying the Olympic torch in one of the final stages next week... explaining that he is still carrying a torch for Kelly Holmes. Sorry. Katie Holmes.
Bosses at G4S say they are now in a position to provide adequate security for the Olympic Games and can confirm that the Oompa Loompa's are on their way from Loompaland as we speak.
Athletes arriving in London for the Olympic Games have been told to expect a warm reception….so the Government are even lying about the weather now?
Police officer and angry murderer Simon Harwood was asked to describe what is was like to kill a man?
It was a pushover.
Boom! And we're done!
Thanks for all your contributions, everyone!