Can't wait for the release of "Springsteen and McCartney Unplugged" - the new album brought to you by Westminster Council.
Problems at the Tour De France when some of the riders began their sprint finish too early after they mistakenly believed the crowd were shouting "Attack! Attack! Attack!" when they were actually trying to warn them about obstacles on the course.
Cameroon was made to stand in line today, apparently a lot of other tories wanted to kiss Nick Cleggs arse too.
A waitress summed up the mood of the nation today when she said to Cameron 'You for coffee?'
Bungs for questions scandal raises it's ugly head in parliament today as waitress offers Cameron a little sweetener with his coffee.
Nice pun marc but way too removed from the actual story
Waitress slips cameron a padded envelope in cafe but he replied. No I said I wanted a bun with that!!
(Only kidding just riffing on Steves request for edits
)
After failing to jump start the economy Cameron attempted to jump a queue today... with equal success!
So David Cameron had to wait in line for ten minutes the other day to get a doughnut. Normally he only has to go next door for one.
Good one 
David Cameron apparently told the waitress at the heart of the donutgate scandal, that he was as committed now to a cheese sandwich and a cup of tea as he was when he joined the queue ten minutes before! but then promptly ordered a jam donut and cup of coffee instead.
I'm all for the Government spending money updating the railways, but I don't see why a quarter of the budget has to be spent on the Hornby set in Nick Clegg's garage.
Not very topical any more but...
George Osborne says there is no Plan B which shows how much he knows about urban music!
Tetrapak heiress Eva Rausing was found dead in her London mansion. But police have denied that she had the air squashed out of her and her corners folded back before being dumped in the recycling.
The Wimbledon final just goes to show that for most English tennis fans, the next best thing to a British Champion is a crying Scotsman.
F1 driver Maria de Villato has tragically lost an eye. But at least her new one eyed perspective has got her a job at the Mail on Sunday.
Under a new scheme, prisoners in Brazil can get time off their sentences for reading books. One prison Governor explained that anyone who'd read a Jeffrey Archer novel... had already suffered enough.
China's first woman astronaut has returned to Earth without any problems... because she stopped and asked directions.
Quote: Tony Cowards @ July 16 2012, 8:26 AM BSTCan't wait for the release of "Springsteen and McCartney Unplugged" - the new album brought to you by Westminster Council.
I like this! (although I wonder if "Springsteen and McCartney Unplugged" should be the punch?)
When George Osborne received a gloomy text from Christine Lagarde today, it was more WTF than IMF.
Why is it ok for Elton John to write a book called Love is the Cure, and yet when I offered the same diagnosis to a female patient of mine, I got struck off?
Word of warning, if you're going to pirate a film called The Dark Knight Rises, check it's about Batman before you watch it with your children.
I'm going to machine gun every one in London who is badly dressed, Why?..because they have no excuse; getting in before the 'Force' really begins. 
(Yikes - first post on BCG... this could go one of two ways...)
The bad weather this summer has been due to the jetstream ending up hundreds of miles away from it's usual location. Meteorologists deny rumours that this is because budget cuts forced them to switch to the easyjet-stream.
The economy got into trouble with bankers gambling and taking risks, no wonder when it's run like a poker game - There's a Queen on the money, a King at the Bank of England, a Diamond at Barclays and Knaves at all the other banks.
And it's using wildcards - which is why there's still a pair of jokers in number 10.
Scotland may become the first part of the UK to legislate for homosexual marriage - not surprising as there's a long history of Scottish support for Gay Gordons.
G4S Security has faced more criticism after a London clothes shop had hundreds of belts ruined by staff guarding the store. "Some of our staff aren't the brightest and one simply misunderstood news that I was about to visit them" explained company head, Nick Buckles.
Hello Brave Dave
and welcome.
Quote: Judgement Dave @ July 17 2012, 2:06 PM BST(Yikes - first post on BCG... this could go one of two ways...)
The bad weather this summer has been due to the jetstream ending up hundreds of miles away from it's usual location. Meteorologists deny rumours that this is because budget cuts forced them to switch to the easyjet-stream.
Great joke, just a little long.
Quote: Judgement Dave @ July 17 2012, 2:06 PM BST(The economy got into trouble with bankers gambling and taking risks, no wonder when it's run like a poker game - There's a Queen on the money, a King at the Bank of England, a Diamond at Barclays and Knaves at all the other banks.
And it's using wildcards - which is why there's still a pair of jokers in number 10.
Again great joke, just too many words
maybe
"No wonder bankers gamble with our money. Then queens on the money, Diamonds at barclays and theres 2 jokers in downing street."
Stick to lists of 3 if you can.
[quote name="Judgement Dave" post="893953" date="July 17 2012, 2:06 PM BST
Scotland may become the first part of the UK to legislate for homosexual marriage - not surprising as there's a long history of Scottish support for Gay Gordons.
.[/quote]
Ouch terrible.