http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uln4DHVSZYU&feature=player_embedded
After taking 9 months of the circuit because I wasn't getting anywhere or improving (and felt very burnt-out by it) I've decided to try my hand at it again.
All feed-back will be very helpful and very appreciated.
(Personally I think I'm to stuttery)
I didn't notice any stuttering, my YouTube loading is not the best so the sound quality was not great, but what I could hear was very good. You looked very relaxed, came across friendly. The opening about the girlfriend was strong and I liked the Jesus story, maybe could have gone a bit further with it.
Wasn't too sure about the end, when you asked them to buy you a drink was fine but maybe it was stretched out just a tad too much?
Well done 
Thank you Shandonbelle - I know, I just wanted that one more laugh... I got greedy...
But thanks!
They were certainly laughing, no awkward moments in there, you could have fed them Mini Cheddars from your hand!
I liked the speed & energy.
But I wasn't catching everything you were saying.
The Red Wine in a plastic made me laugh.
I know it's more difficult to hear when watching a video, but I did think the delivery needed a touch more clarity.
Some good stuff in the set though, well done.
Quote: DeathbyMonkey @ July 4 2012, 10:38 PM BSThttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uln4DHVSZYU&feature=player_embedded
After taking 9 months of the circuit because I wasn't getting anywhere or improving (and felt very burnt-out by it) I've decided to try my hand at it again.
All feed-back will be very helpful and very appreciated.
(Personally I think I'm to stuttery)
I think there is something here... I think it needs teasing out a little more. The routine is quite mono for jokes in that you say something they laugh briefly, you do the same again, they do the same again. I know this may sound odd but your voice and look could be unique which will make you stand out. The material was a little week but still got laughs. I didn't get the feeling that you were quite ready for the audience feedback. I know the feeling of burnt out, it's hard to get over but good luck and best wishes with your comedy.
Cheers Steve, yes I definitely came off nervous, so clarity of delivery is something I'm practicing. I think there are a few jokes which can be really special if delivered right.
Hi Utopian, thanks for both the positive words and criticisms. You are certainly right that this all needs development (I wouldn't say this was my strongest performance). The laughs felt bigger on stage than they did in the video. And I think I know what you mean by a mono performance - there are certain things about my stage presence that I like and I think can be built on. I'm currently look at Michael Richards (especially his performance as Kramer) for how facial and physical expressions can be developed to add that extra punch to a line. I do think there are a few jokes in there that are a little weak (some though is because my delivery didn't give them credit) so that all needs work. Though I personally rate the Jesus bit, the "I believe it makes you go blind" a couple of the satirical jokes and part of opening are quite nice. I wouldn't say it's not ready for feedback - as nice as it is to receive positive critiquing, negative feedback is really helpful.
Cheers
Hi Ed
Good composed set - but you do feel a little uncomfortable in your own shoes at times. The Murdoch reference section seems a bit odd - like you aren't sure yourself that you are OK touching on it. I really like the gag pricking Brooks' selfrighteousness ("only crime is breaking the law") - good satire!
Everything depends on the quality of the material, which is OK. The build of jokes from the dumping/infidelity is excellent - and I think you know this, and it comes through in the delivery.
Looking forward to hearing it again at the next KIPOD warm up!
Jack
Cheers Jack,
Yeah, I think I need to get my segways sorted - most feel natural but the opening into the satire is clunky and uncomfortable. Most importantly I think I need to practice! And get at ease with all my material. I'll be rehearsing this weekend. Definitely looking forward to the next Kipod!