As far back as I can remember I always wanted to be a banker.
[RAGS TO RICHES starts playing]
To me, being a banker was better than being King of England. It meant being somebody in a neighbourhood of nobodies. Bankers weren't like anyone else, they did what they wanted. They parked in front of hydrants and never got tickets. When they stayed up all night gambling with people's mortgages, nobody called the cops. I started to hang out at the Barclays bank when I was sixteen. I just did small time shit, overdraft charges, bad balances. But I was part of a crew, you know? One day, some of the neighbourhood kids carried my Mother's shopping home, you know why? It was out of respect.
I met Bobby Diamond when I was twenty. Everyone loved Bobby. When he walked onto the trading floor, the place went wild. He'd give the doorman a hundred just for holding the door. If Bobby was there, the trading guys drank Bollinger all day. We got on great. By 2008 we were the biggest, most powerful wiseguys in the City. We ran a savings and lending racket. We'd take care of rich guys' money for them, and we'd lend out money to any poor mook dumb enough to come to us. They got their car or their house or Christmas presents for the family. But you better believe we got paid. Lost your job? F**k you, pay me. House burnt down? F**k you, pay me. It was beautiful.
The thing with Bobby though? It was never enough. We had everything we wanted. Bonuses, profits, a light touch from the Government. Bobby wanted more. After 2008, I got the f**k out. Bobby couldn't quit it though, he got hooked on banking crime. He thought he was untouchable. You know who else thought he was untouchable? Al Capone. And those bastards are going to take Bobby down the same way, on some f**king paperwork technicality bullshit. Screwing around with interest rates. Interest rates! After all the shit me and Bobby used to pull. Ah well, f**k em. Salut Bobby, it was a great ride.