Well I figured I needed the practise
KOFI ANNAN (KA) IS SITTING ON THE FLOOR PLAYING SADLY WITH 2 PIECES OF MATERIAL
A NURSE (N) STANDS OVER HIM
KA
They won't make one piece.
N
Oh come on Mr Coffee why don't you stitch them together?
KA
Shan't I shall make them into one piece by thinking nice things, and looking sad and being polite. That's how you make a piece.
N
No Mr Annan that's how you ended up in the Mahatma Ghandi psychiatric hospital for failed peace makers. You did absolutely nothing to stop the Rwandan massacres.
KA
Well doing nothing is doing something. I didn't send in the troops, I didn't issue arrests warrants and I didn't apologise. All that nothing took lots of time, I was really really tired. And there was lots of peace when I'd finished.
N
Pieces of genocide hacked up with machetes , its really not the same thing..
IN WALKS BANKIMOON.(BM)
N
Oh Look Mr Coffee it's your special guest Mr Wanky Loon.
BANKIMOON HANDS NURSE A CARD AND GRIMACES NURSE READS IT
BM
Hnnnnn (like he's making a noise like a long no)
N
It's pronounced Bankimoon, I am the head of the UN and worlds most inscrutable man.
KA
Hello Wanky how are you?
BM
Hnnnnnn
BM hands N another card.
N (READING)
It's pronounced Banki you imbecile. I have a job for you Kofi as a peace maker in Syria.
N(STOPPING READING)
You can't be serious, poor Mr Coffee is a very sick man. He's clinically incapable of making peace, he's got a catheter because he can't even make piss.
KA PULLS OUT A BOTTLE OF PISS COLOURED FLUID WITH A TUBE GOING INTO HIS PANTS.
KA
Sorry Wanky, but a UN representative who can't take the piss is pretty useless.
BM
Hnnnnnnnnnnn
KI HANDS N A CARD N READS IT
N
When there is nothing to be done. The world needs someone to do nothing. And no one can do nothing like Kofi Annan
N STOPPING READING
N
So you just want Mr Coffee to do absolutely nothing? So thousands can die and you won't offend the Americans or the Russians.
KA AND BM TOGETHER
Yaaaaaaaaaaaah (SOUNDS LIKE YES)