Pillow Talk Page 2

Thanks for your comments Sbf, Baumski and Fred, much appreciated.

Fred, as I've fallen between the two, I'm going to make it more surreal!

MORE surreal????????

Jude, Baumski is right you know. Charming is exactly the right adjective to describe your writing.

Thanks WJFK.

Thanks Blenkinsop,

I know exactly what you mean and I agree it's time to move on. I was planning on doing so honest!

I really don't think your comments are harsh, just true

Hi Jude

I liked these (the early ones) but now feel that the idea is becoming a bit thin and that they are also getting a bit twee.

A bit like a character in a sketch show that has outstayed its welcome.

I realise that this sounds a bit harsh but I don't intend it to be or for it to be negative. I just think that you have so much more in you and that maybe it's time to move on here and leave this idea for now.

I'm sure this comparison has been made before, but it was like one of those bits in The Young Ones.

I agree with Blenky ^^ a little bit. It almost feels like your relying too much on the same formula, the others were original, whereas this feels forced, as though you're trying to recapture that "magic" of the others by recreating it artificially.

This doesn't mean I think you should stop - not at all.

This sketch was okay, but had a weak ending.

I feel if you took your time and waited for something special to come along and pop into your head it would.

I'm noticing something else about your sketches as well (and bare in mind - I'm writing this is an almost comatose like state) But there seems to be a deeper underlying message or meaning to them. Different classes and society struggles with Posh tea cups and Buff Pillows to Fish Fingers and peas fighting against each other. Maybe someone much cleverererer then me can explain and understand that more clearly, but I think I'm definitely onto something here.

Keep up it all up Jude, but you need to push yourself out of your comfort zone (that's rich coming from me )

Your sketches tend to lack a punchline, as you often say so yourself. Try thinking of a joke first and then build your conversations around it or take an existing joke and do the same - bare in mind that this is just practice so we want accuse you of the P word

Example:

A KNIFE IS BULLYING A SPOON.

SPOON
Stop picking on me or I'll get fork handles on you.

KNIFE
I'm not scared of fork handles.

SPOON
Help me Fork Handles!

FOUR HUGE CANDLES APPEAR AROUND THE CORNER.

FOUR CANDLES
(In unison)
Leave it out knife.

KNIFE
(Muffled)

CANDLE 1
What did he say, I can't hear him, I've got wax in me ears?

CANDLE 2
What? I can't hear you, I've got wax in my ears.

CANDLE 3
Sorry about this, they're not too bright them.

END

You see what i mean Jude? Okay, not great but I just thought of that on the spot.

No Leevil - not great!

Thanks Leevil,

I was aiming for a set of six of these. I've got them now, so I don't need to post any more in this style. This one doesn't work as well for a number of reasons.

There are deeper meanings and also hidden messages, more with the others, not this one. I'm not very good at thinking in a straight line. There's A - B, but I sort of tend to find a load of extra stuff on the way.

Lol at the moment, I'm pushing out of my comfort zone on a variety of projects, but that's not an excuse with this sketch, it's not good and I admit it. I do appreciate that I have to get out of my comfort zone with sketches too though and I will do it.

Lol, yeah I get it! I see what you mean! Joke, punchline! "D'oh!" Sometimes I'm just so stupid!

Are you going to put your "Holes" entry into this collection Jude?

I wasn't planning on it Dave.