Since my other sketch is probably dead in the water am I ok to submit another quickie?
(Phone rings.)
FRANCES:
(THINK "CELIA JOHNSON") Hello, Frances Osborne.
GEORGE:
(THINK "TERRY THOMAS") George here, darling.
FRANCES:
George? Is anything wrong?
GEORGE:
Well, I drove to the shops for some wine and now I'm stuck. Could you come and pick me up?
FRANCES:
Oh dear. Has your car broken down?
GEORGE:
No, but David's told me I'm not allowed to do any more U-turns.
boom-boom!
I am not sure this is the best execution but I like the idea of at home with the osbornes. I don;t think you need the 'other' in the title.
Yes. There must be an angle with Osborne continuously changing his mind on all his domestic circumstances at home on more and more annoying basis for his wife - such as changing his underwear, name, wife!
Go on frantically. If you can land it, you can have the credit. Otherwise Marc and I will share it .
Quote: LippyAlison @ June 1 2012, 3:10 PM BSTYes. There must be an angle with Osborne continuously changing his mind on all his domestic circumstances at home on more and more annoying basis for his wife - such as changing his underwear, name, wife!
Go on frantically. If you can land it, you can have the credit. Otherwise Marc and I will share it .
With good cause - you've pretty much written it. Well maybe not Marc - he just says "Get rid of the 'other', ba-da-bing-ba-da-boom, where's my 50 quid?" 
But it's a good idea - I'll have a go at writing it.
Hey my name on the packet sell beans buddy. I don't actually write anymore! )
You're still selling those packets of magic beans?
I swap 'em mainly for dairy products.
Would something like this work?
AT HOME WITH THE OSBORNES
FRANCES:
Morning George.
GEORGE:
Morning Darling. Can't stop, I'm meeting David. We're spending the day on the piss.
FRANCES:
You're getting drunk with David?
GEORGE:
No, we're having a Nintendo tournament - isn't going on the Wii the same as going on the piss?
FRANCES:
No. Anyway you said you'd go to the garden centre and pick up my Leylandii. George, is this a U-turn??
GEORGE:
Absolutely not - I considered going to the garden centre, I really did. But then I listened to what people had to say...
FRANCES:
What people?
GEORGE:
David. He said "A Garden Centre?? It'll be full of the most frightful oiks!" I took his views on board and now I'm off to play Wii. Don't worry about lunch, I'll be grabbing a (RHYMING WITH 'TASTY') 'pastey' with David. Can't believe I've never eaten one.
FRANCES:
Pastey? I think you mean "pasty".
GEORGE:
Do I? What's a pastey?
FRANCES:
Something that strippers wear to cover their nipples.
GEORGE:
What do you know - I have eaten one. Yes, I'm having a pasty.
FRANCES:
But you said you wouldn't be caught dead eating one.
GEORGE:
And when I said that I meant it, sincerely. But then I had a meeting with some fat northern people...
FRANCES:
And they changed your mind?
GEORGE:
No, they disgusted me, but David said he quite liked pasties, so I thought - screw it.
FRANCES:
Another bloody u-turn. I'm sick of this! You're always saying one thing and then you end up doing the opposite. You said you were going to get the toilet unblocked, then spent all day on it doing the Times crossword, which made it worse!
GEORGE:
So?
FRANCES:
You actually did a u-turn on the u-bend! Wait - what are you doing? Why are you sitting down? you said you were going to play Wii.
GEORGE:
I did say that and at the time I meant it, but then I listened to your input. I was impressed by your passion and decided I'll stay here with you instead.
FRANCES:
Oh that's a u-turn I hadn't anticipated. I have other plans.
(ANOTHER MAN ENTERS)
FRED:
'lright.
GEORGE:
Who's this hulking beefcake?
FRANCES:
This is Fred - my lover.
GEORGE:
But you're my wife! What about your marital vows??
FRANCES:
I made those vows in good faith and at the time I really meant them. But then I listened to people...
GEORGE:
what people??
FRANCES:
Fred. I was impressed with his input and admired his passion. I took him on board and decided...(SEDUCTIVELY) screw it.
FRED:
Heh heh heh.
GEORGE:
Right. I'll just go and check out the U-bend.