First sketch I have written in at least a year - and it probably shows. But what the hell.
Mr Jay: For the record sir, you are indeed his Royal Majesty King Henry VIII?
Henry: I am he.
Mr Jay: In this module we are looking at the proposed take over of the church. We will look at your appointment to supreme governor, your views on the take over and your personal relationships with the propitiator of the church; A Mister God. So, Your Majesty why were you appointed to your current position?
Henry: Quite frankly it was felt that the previous incumbent was somewhat biased in his views on the great matter.
Mr Jay: You are of course referring to the Pope and his alleged biased position regarding your marriage to Katherine of Aragon and your wish to divorce to marry one Anne Boleyn.
Henry: There was nothing alleged about it all, the man was after all a prisoner in his own chapel. His captor was my wife's own nephew - I think Leo knew which side his bread was being broken.
Mr Jay: I see, you were appointed to readdress that apparent bias?
Henry: Correct.
Mr Jay: If I refer you to bundle one, this is a letter written by yourself to one Mistress Boleyn. In it you state that she has two wonderful duckies that you hope soon to kiss. Does this not perhaps indicate a bias in the other direction by yourself?
Henry: Not really, I keep an open mind, I am a lover of all domesticated poultry.
Mr Jay: That would explain the line about what you would do to her goose then! In your written statement you say that the very day that you were appointed you actually communicated directly with the interested party, Mister God. How did you do that?
Henry: Via prayer.
Mr Jay: And there is no evidence remaining anywhere of what that message contained?
Henry: No.
Mr Jay: It is very convenient don't you think? This enquiry is called and the records of your prayers to Mister God are somehow lost.
Henry: He does work in mysterious ways.
Mr Jay: It is my understanding that you attended a party did you not, given by Mister God in Greenwich.
Henry: Two parties actually, my baptism and my confirmation.
Mr Jay: Do you recall any conversation you held with Mister God at these parties.
Henry: No.
Mr Jay: But you accepted his hospitality did you not? Ate his bread, drank his wine? Do you not think that your personal relationship with Mister God compromised your ability to rule on the take over.
Henry: Mr Jay, I have sat here a very quiet man while you attempt to drag my reputation through the dirty streets of London. I am the defender of the faith not some red haired witch of fleet street. But If you want the truth.
Mr Jay: I think I am entitled.
Henry: You can't handle the truth Mr Jay! I have been friends with Mister God for all my life, He does indeed communicate with me, we chat on a regular basis God and I. I am his voice for my people.
FX - sound of commotion.
Woman: This man is a criminal. He's beheaded thousands, he accepted money from monks straight after the take over, he uses one women and takes another, he calls himself head of the church he is the devil himself...unhand me, put me down.
Mr Jay: I'm sorry Your Majesty. To the tower with her?
Henry: God no. To my bedroom.
End
