GRAMS VERY BUSY AIRPORT
OSAMA BIN LADEN
Excuse me are you a customs officer, I've got something to declare I am Osama Bin Laden. Worlds most evil terrorist and YouTube star!
CUSTOMS OFFICIAL
Piss off I'm busy.
OSAMA BIN LADEN
No really you bloody infidel I've had a change of heart.
CUSTOMS OFFICIAL
I said piss off. Look we UK Border Agent officials have got no time for checking for drugs, explosives or terrorists now clear off. Don't you know theres an olympics on?
OSAMA BIN LADEN
It wasn't me the SEALS shot, it was Gary Glitter he was renting my spare room.
CUSTOMS OFFICIAL
I'm about to call security mush.
OSAMA BIN LADEN
My pants are more likely to explode than Eric Pickles after a 3 pound vindaloo with a lager chaser. I watched the Justin Beiber movie last night and the little homo showed me the error of my ways.
CUSTOMS OFFICIAL
SECURITY!
GRAMS POLICE OFFICER RUNS OVER CLANKING WITH MACHINE GUN ETC
POLICE
What seems to be the problem sir?
OSAMA BIN LADEN
I am Osama Bin Laden worlds most evil terrorist! I survived the raid cos I was having a big shit and the foolish Americans didn't check the crap house! I have bombs in my pants, drugs in my arse and...
CUSTOMS OFFICIAL
He's wasting border agency time. Doesn't he know there's an olympics on.
GRAMS GUNSHOT BODY FALLS TO THE GROUND
POLICE
And a jubilee.