A topical sketch what Sootyj and AJGO wrote.

QUEEN
Good evening Primeminister
CAMERON
Please, call me Dave
QUEEN
Good evening Dave
CAMERON
Sir Dave?
QUEEN
Not bloody likely Now what is it that you want? I was just going to Argos for an airbed we've got Basher Al Asad and Robert Mugabe on the same weekend
CAMERON
I was hoping you could write a quickie Queens speech I've got a couple of laws I need to squeek through in a hurry.
QUEEN
Look here you Etonian oik one told you already if you want to marry Nick; you can clear off to California. One is not reopening parliamentary for your deprived lusts, the commonwealth wouldn't approve. Some of those darkies are quite homophobic.
CAMERON
No no. Nick and Sam are more than happy to share. I was hoping to reclass commuters as cattle.
QUEEN
You're not going to eat them are you?
CAMERON
Not yet, but it's the only way we're going to be able to stuff them all on the tube during the Olympics.
QUEEN
About that. How much money are we making from the Olympic tat? I've got 6 palaces and 4diotic unemployed kids to keep in a private jets and caviar. Not to mention one's chavvy new inlaws.
CAMERON
A cornucopia of Olympic tat. And what's better it's all just the rubbish we're flogging for your jubilee we're just respraying it.
QUEEN
Double bubble? One likes that.
CAMERON
Yes ma'm we're planning on selling novelty Boris Johnson the Bear dollies, authentic London riot bricks and (whispers) the BBC
QUEEN
No selling the BBC! One likes Eastenders. Now about renting the House hold cavalry as rickshaw drivers?
CAMERON
Ma'm are you sure we're not taking the public for enough of a ride already?

Quote: sootyj @ May 26 2012, 6:04 PM BST

QUEEN
Not bloody likely Now what is it that you want? I was just going to Argos for an airbed we've got Basher Al Asad and Robert Mugabe on the same weekend

CAMERON
No no. Nick and Sam are more than happy to share. I was hoping to reclass commuters as cattle.
QUEEN
You're not going to eat them are you?
CAMERON
Not yet, but it's the only way we're going to be able to stuff them all on the tube during the Olympics.
QUEEN
About that. How much money are we making from the Olympic tat? I've got 6 palaces and 4diotic unemployed kids to keep in a private jets and caviar. Not to mention one's chavvy new inlaws.

authentic London riot bricks

View original

Quote: sootyj @ May 26 2012, 6:04 PM BST

QUEEN
About that. How much money are we making from the Olympic tat? I've got 6 palaces and 4diotic unemployed kids to keep in a private jets and caviar. Not to mention one's chavvy new inlaws.

View original

Those were the best bits for me...well done you guys.

There didn't seem to be much focus on any particular subject, so it was difficult to follow for me. I assumed it would be about the Queens speech, but it then spirals off into various tangents and the ending doesn't tie everything up. More focus and maybe you've got something.

Yeh, its a zig zag so it's more a bunch of gags.

Oh well more of a fun project then anything.

Quote: Ben @ May 27 2012, 8:35 AM BST

There didn't seem to be much focus on any particular subject, so it was difficult to follow for me. I assumed it would be about the Queens speech, but it then spirals off into various tangents and the ending doesn't tie everything up. More focus and maybe you've got something.

View original

That was my fault. I was ranting. It was more an attempt at therapy. It didn't work, I'm still furious about everything.

I like your bits of the sketch soots!

Enjoyed it! some lines were cliche' stuff- never be lazy- overall fun for Jubilee crap weekend, may we have more cynics please!

Quote: dellas @ May 27 2012, 1:51 PM BST

Enjoyed it! some lines were cliche' stuff- never be lazy- overall fun for Jubilee crap weekend, may we have more cynics please!

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Cheers d, we shall spend more than five minutes writing next time! If we don't first fall out in spectacular style over creative differences

Guffaw!