KI: Rating the Agencies

Inspired by Afinkawan I've dug out an old unused NJ sketch which might still be topical enough for "Live from Kirrin Island"

RATING THE AGENCIES

ANCHOR:
Grease is the word, sang Frankie Valli. If the word is "bankrupt" then he was close, as credit rating agencies have downgraded the Greek economy yet again. And with Spanish banks also on the slide, how long can the UK retain its triple A rating, and with it our prime place in the economic Yellow Pages? Amid concerns that rating agencies wield too much power, the Government is planning a fightback. I'm joined by Treasury spokeswoman Hilary Policy-Wonk. Hilary, what's the Government's thinking?

HILARY:
Our central question is, just who are these agencies?

ANCHOR:
Well, the big three are Standard and Poor's, Moody's and Fitch. They're all American-based and they assess the creditworthiness of businesses and national economies.

HILARY:
(TAKEN ABACK BUT CARRIES ON REGARDLESS)
Nobody knows who they are. That's why we're fighting back alongside our European partners and the USB.

ANCHOR:
Don't you mean the USA?

HILARY:
Yes, but they've been downgraded to USB. It causes confusion with our computer nerds but only 14 more downgrades and they'll have a unique selling point!

ANCHOR:
I gather your approach is for countries to join together and rate the ratings agencies.

HILARY:
That's right. We've already downgraded Standard and Poor's to Sub-standard and Not-very-good-at-all (BEAT) 's.

ANCHOR:
I see. And Moody's?

HILARY:
A very negative outlook I'm afraid. Moody's is at risk of becoming permanently bad-tempered and in an awful strop, like how you feel after reading Andrew Lansley's health reforms. It's not all bad news for the agencies though. Take Fitch - we've upgraded their F to a B.

ANCHOR:
So they're now Bitch? That seems rather childish.

HILARY:
Well, you should have seen what they were planning for our bankers. The simple truth is that we can't allow these unaccountable faceless machines to make decisions that could put the very foundations of our economy at risk!

ANCHOR:
Because that's the job of the Government?

HILARY:
Precisely!

END.

It's neat & sharp with some amusing lines.
I assume all the names are real agencies, but I wouldn't know
Hearing this I'd be more smiling than giggling I think.
But that's just me.

I do like this. I liked it the first time around too.

It is a bit static though. I wonder if there's a more action-y way out using similar gags?

Dan

I like this idea, mainly because I think the idea of rating agencies is silly in itself. And some nice lines in here.

One of the problems is that two of the names are already quite 'down-graded' already. Where could you take 'Standard & Poor' and 'Moody' too make them worse? Needs somewhere really silly to go to make it really fly.

I'm not sure about 'action' but is there a way of doing it outside the interview/ Think NJ works better the less interviews there are in it so if there could be a different way of doing it as a sketch that might work better?

I like the concept.

Perhaps you could inject more energy into if at least one of the characters was angry with the ratings agencies rather than just trying to be witty about them. Eg what if one of the Governments of Spain or Greece decided to strike back by downgrading the agencies?

Like thas and think it works, but on the downside, the intro is a bit hard work, the USP gag is laboured and doesn't really work, and the health reforms reference a pointless right-on agitprop digression - I am as appalled by the health reforms as the next hypochondriac malingerer, but reference just feels really shoe-horned.

Thanks all. It's showing its roots. I think the Greek minister is the way to go.