British Comedy Guide

Re-edited sketch "I'll kill Spiderman"

BOB IS TRYING TO PUT HIS MISCHEVIOUS SON ALBERT TO BED ALBERT IS 6 AND WEARING SPIDER MAN PYJAMAS.

BOB
Oh Albert come on now! It's bed time.

ALBERT
No it isn't! You big fart face!

BOB
Fine that's it Albert. I warned you, this is all your fault. I'm going to kill Spiderman if you don't go to bed.

ALBERT
Shut up you can't kill Spiderman bumface.

BOB
Right that's it!.

BOB FLICKS ON THE DVD PLAYER IN THE CORNER OF THE ROOM(SUBTELY WITH A REMOTE CONTROL), IT PLAYS A SCENE OF BOB DRESSED UP AS SPIDER MAN STRUGGLING APPARENTLY TIED TO A CHAIR.

ALBERT
No daddy let spider man go!

BOB
Now you call me Daddy? It's too late and you've been a very naughty boy.

BOB FIRES A CAP GUN AT THE DVD PLAYER THE DVD JUMPS TO THE NEXT SCENE, BOB DRESSED AS SPIDER MAN APPARENTLY TIED TO A CHAIR STRUGGLING WITH A BIG FAKE LEG WOUND WITH LOADS OF KETCHUP.

ALBERT
Waaah let Spiderman go daddy!

BOB
Shut up Albert, he'll live.

SCENE2

BOB IS SPEAKING TO HIS BOSS FRANK IN FRANK'S OFFICE

BOB
And the stupid little sod really thought it was Spiderman.

FRANK
Very interesting, but we're here about you losing the McGregor account.

BOB
Oh really? And what are you going to do about it?

FRANK FLICKS ON A DVD PLAYER FRANK IS TIED UP IN A CHAIR ON THE SCREEN (HE IS DRESSED LIKE ALBERT IN ILL FITTING SPIDER PYJAMAS)
FRANK POINTS A CAP GUN AT THE SCREEN

FRANK
I'll kill your son

BOB
You bumface.

I'd end at 'I'll kill your son'. I really liked it. A leap to get over is why would Frank have a DVD already prepared? or is that just surreal Sootyj at work?? like it a lot though.

After years of Albert not going to bed and calling him bumface.

Frank filmed himself dressed as spiderman and being shot.

Thus being ready for Albert's next lot of shenanigans.

Ah, good one, in that case the bumface stays.

It was inspired by that weird affection kids have with Spiderman, more so than say Batman or Superman,

Yep, he's the only superhero my son ever got into, he had the costume and the speaking clock...this went off at odd hours and scared the life out of him, 'with great power, comes great responsibility' is not what you want to hear in the dark at 4am.

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