Newman
Friday 11th May 2012 8:19am
16 posts
I only read the first half because I'm at work and I should be working.
However, of what I read, I was pretty impressed.
The narcolepsy thing is funny, and the image of him asleep of a football pitch is funny, as well as the voice over of 'faking it',
Also the idea of voting for a city mascot is conceptually amusing. So you have funny ideas, which I think is important and one of the reasons that IMO the great sitcoms like Seinfeld and AD are so good, and this is often what's missing from british sitcoms.
Also you don't try and shoe-horn in too many gag, and it's the characters/ideas which are amusing. I recently read this blog which I found fairly insightful in this regard: http://www2.macleans.ca/2012/05/04/jokes-arent-funny/
The dialogue as well is good, with distinct voices and it feels natural and paced fairly well.
My main criticism is that I don't think postmen waiting in the car watching the guy getting angry about the lateness of his delivery. As an observation the ridiculessness of the delivery window has been done (in seinfeld I think) and I don't think it's realistic that the characters would be such bastards whilst knowlingly being filmed.
In truth whenever I've read pilots on here they've been pretty poor/not funny/painful to read even, but this was genuinely decent and I felt compelled to post.
good luck with it....
