Sketch I wrote last year in October.
Detective Sketch
{Knock, knock, knock!}
Middle aged woman opens the door
Detective: Hello? Hello? It is I! Detective Hugo J.J Benutbutter, the greatest detective in the world! And this is my assistant Dr. Lucius Q.J Chicken Salad.
Dr: How d'yow do?
Detective: Now what seems to be the problem?
Mrs.Green: Well, I was doing the ironing and then I went to go to the loo and when I came back one the socks were gone.
Detective: Right well, I can immediately tell from this beige carpet that you...you...live in a house.
Mrs.Green: Well....yes.
Dr: Cor! Blimey! That is amazing boss that is!
Detective: Elementary dear Lucius. Now where did the crime take place?
Mrs.Green: Umm...just there.
Detective: Hmm...hmmm...right. Mrs. Green, are you by any chance a woman?
Mrs.Green: Well...um...yes..I don't quite see what that has to do with-
Detective: Now, judging by the fact that you are a woman and that you also have a left hand with a watch on it, you often go to the toilet...am I right?
Mrs.Green: Well yes, I just said that-
Detective: Therefore the crime is very simple. The sock was stolen when you went to the toilet!
Dr: Blummin' hell sir, you make it look easy!
Detective: Well, it does take a great mind to solve the most puzzling of conundrums like this. That is why I am the boss and you are my assistant.
Dr: That it true sir, that is true.
Mrs.Green: Umm, I don't mean to sound rude but...I told you that before hand. I want to know who stole it.
Detective: Well Mrs.Green. I don't normally get these kinds of requests. It will take some considerable time but.... I'll...umm...do it for you, considering you're quite a looker.
Mrs.Green has a look of both bemusement and offence.
Detective: Right, Dr. Lucius.
Dr: Yes boss?
Detective: Pass me my magnifier glass won't you, there's a good chap.
He does that.
Detective holds up a sock while looking at it through a magnifying glass.
Detective: Hmmmm...hmmm...ahhh...yesss...well...very intresting....
Mrs.Green: Well? Found anything?
Detective: Well Mrs.Green. Using my immense skills of DNA analysing, I have managed to narrow down the primary three DNA samples, excluding all irrelevant data such as dead skin fragments in the air and the samples from your good self. And by de-selecting the necessary sub-waves and altering temporary cotton weavings. I have managed to come to the conclusion that this item in all primary, tertiary or past-present forms is........a sock.
Dr: Once again sir you have outdone yourself. I feel privileged to be in the presence of one of the greatest solvings of any crime in the last century.
Mrs.Green: Listen, are you actually from the police?
Detective: What! Ummm...yes! Of course we are.
Police squad then burst through the door.
Policeman: Now then, now then. What's all this trouble?
Detective looks to the camera.
Detective: Cheese it the cops!
The detective and his assistant run out of the house and onto the street to the tune of Devil's Gallop.