Sitcom Setting. Page 8

Quote: dellas @ September 4 2013, 5:13 AM BST

Jennie you are here for comedy stuff?... any thing happened on the way to court?.... can imagine the scroats who have a brief...lordy.... if you get my drift....very northern but love some fun details???....please?

So funny tonight a woman said ' No wonder the schools need more buildings'....

I said' ok what or why'?' - she replied' ' Well they have to have kids to fill their spare bedrooms'

Serious.....? Well, could be reality??? ...

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Dellas

I have just discovered the cuddle emoticon and intend to use it liberally. I'm cheap.

Am I hear for the comedy stuff? Yup - to learn more about it and to laugh at the rich resource of comedy this site is.

Fortunately comedy escapades on the way to court are rare - because when they happen, I'm usually stuck on a train station platform somewhere like Lowestoft in the middle of February, no coat, crying because I'm so cold.

But in court? All the time. But it's the characters that make it. It's a world full of larger than life people. I rabbit on about things quite a lot here - have to be a bit careful though, as can't say anything to identify clients.

The bedroom tax is a stupid way to deal with an admittedly big problem. Nothing would surprise me with the Condems.

Jennie please you must tell us a couple of tales?, obviously with anonymous names???, bloody love it???? x

PS where did you study Law?

I'll tell you a tale about my jury service, that started on Wednesday. I sat in a waiting room for two days with 13 other people, only to be told that the cases we were to sit on had all collapsed, so we could go home.

I was really looking forward to two weeks in the white heat of British justice, and I never even saw the inside of a court, or got a sniff of a wig. Worst of all, I have to go back to work tomorrow, 7 days early.

Worst of it was, I was really looking forward to getting ideas for sketches from the trials.

My friend's brother is a lawyer, and he told me of a recent case in which he was defending a woman accused of a theft. The defence was based on the fact that she was blind and couldn't possibly have committed the crime. That particular line of defence collapsed when he dropped his pen in court and she picked it up for him.

On my first stint as a juror we retired to the Jury room and after the self appointed chair announced 'this should not take long, it's obviously an open and shut case' we had a show of hands, with 10 people voting for guilty and 3 for innocent. Which led to the discovery that a woman who had been knitting throughout the two day trial could not speak a word of English.

We decided to continue with 11 jurors. Myself and one other argued that there was no actual evidence presented by the prosecution against the defendant, we argued we could not see why he had been arrested and charged at all.

The self appointed chair then came out with the astounding statement 'You have only got to look at him to see he did it'

I could go on...

Then there was my second trial - Where a man was brought up into the dock reeking of Booze with a torn lapel on his jacket and looking very much the worse for wear. When he saw me in the Jury box he shouted very cheerily and loudly "Ay'up you alright Perry" - I had to pass a note to the Judge to ask to be excused, and left the court very sheepishly.

I could go on...I really could.

Quote: gappy @ September 4 2013, 11:24 AM BST

I'll tell you a tale about my jury service, that started on Wednesday. I sat in a waiting room for two days with 13 other people, only to be told that the cases we were to sit on had all collapsed, so we could go home.

I was really looking forward to two weeks in the white heat of British justice, and I never even saw the inside of a court, or got a sniff of a wig. Worst of all, I have to go back to work tomorrow, 7 days early.

Worst of it was, I was really looking forward to getting ideas for sketches from the trials.

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That is sadly quite typical.

Come on work experience with me. I might even let you sniff my wig.

Quote: Jennie @ September 4 2013, 11:57 AM BST

That is sadly quite typical.

Come on work experience with me. I might even let you sniff my wig.

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I honestly don't know how to respond to that offer. I think I'm flattered, though. I was just really looking forward to doing jury service - I've seen Twelve Angry Men and everything.

An old colleague fo mine did it, and afterwards he was telluig us abot it: "It was really good, they had al this evidence, and peolpe came in to testify and all sorts. But, I tell you what was weird: they never told us whether he did it or not. We had to work it out".

Quote: playfull @ September 4 2013, 11:56 AM BST

The self appointed chair then came out with the astounding statement 'You have only got to look at him to see he did it'

I could go on...

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This kind of thing scares the crap out of me. I really hope you told the judge what the juror had said.

The ones that really piss me off are the ones who come ready prepared with a clipboard, the witness has only to confirm their name before clipboard juror has submitted a list of 15 questions he wants asking STRAIGHT AWAY. I know you think you know better, poppet, but how about you let the barristers have a bit of a go first?

I would love to do jury service. Barristers and judges are allowed to now. A friend of mine had a High Court judge on her jury - scary!

Quote: gappy @ September 4 2013, 12:01 PM BST

An old colleague fo mine did it, and afterwards he was telluig us abot it: "It was really good, they had al this evidence, and peolpe came in to testify and all sorts. But, I tell you what was weird: they never told us whether he did it or not. We had to work it out".

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Oh god, that is quite scary.

There is no intelligence test to be on a jury (perhaps rightly). But I am slightly concerned when they can't even read the oath properly - how can they possibly read all the docs in a fraud case? It's a fine line to tread.

Soo much funny stuff today? everyone could write a vgood sketch???

A small insight to court proceedings---- a pal served on jury; regarding a chap who had smuggled fish into the country???.... He was found guilty....they were given sardine sandwiches???...

Something fishy going on????

On another occasion we were in the Jury room when the female bailiff (who is not supposed to influence the Jury) popped her head around the door and said "What is taking so long, everyone expected a quick decision". Followed by "I have a hair appointment booked you know" ten minutes later and "you are keeping the Judge waiting, he won't be happy" a few minutes after that. At which point I got up and closing the door told her we would take as long as we needed.

When we did finally (after about an hour and a half) reach a verdict she was hurrying us down the stairs to court when one of the jurors complained of chest pains and sat down on the stairs. The bailiff actually said "leave him the judge is waiting"! I refused to move until she fetched assistance, much to her visible annoyance. We found out later the juror had had a mild heart attack but thankfully was ok.

I could go on...

Where as I went to a lynching and everyone was nice as pie, there were mincepies, mulled wine and of course a very big fire.
Everyone was good humoured when the police turned up and tried to take statements.

Quote: sootyj @ September 4 2013, 3:01 PM BST

Where as I went to a lynching and everyone was nice as pie, there were mincepies, mulled wine and of course a very big fire.
Everyone was good humoured when the police turned up and tried to take statements.

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?

He he...in the deep south?...