Thanks Badge, others.
I'm on stage for Sam Mayes' open mic night at the Bristol Cider House tomorrow night if anyone local fancies popping by...
Jack Horner - stand up debut Page 2
A bit more - including a couple of bombs...
I wouldn't say there any true bombs in there. The gags are very good quality and you give them space to breathe. One thing though, your delivery is a bit samey throughout. You're in good company, because early on Jo Brand had a similar samey "up on the set-up down on the punchline" dry delivery. I wouldn't say it's irritating, more that in a longer set you are giving the audience the chance to switch off a bit because there isn't enough variety or interest for them. So work on that, I think.
No bombs, my friend, but another clutch of quality gags. I think some of them went down a little less well than the first bunch, because most of the string of old job gags had a similar structure, and audiences can be quite savvy in guessing punchlines when you stick to a formula for a while, especially if you deliver slowly. So, the fisherman joke was decent, but I think people were sort of there one step ahead of you, as they were in the gag groove. Compare that the the McDonald's joke, which was really unexpected and tickled me greatly.
The human cannonball bit was a bit obvious too. Instead of a synonym for "fired" perhaps you could replace it with something more unusual, to keep people on the back foot: "I got...RSI in my trigger finger", or "I got...a superior offer from a company unconnected with human corporeal ballistics. and on the balance it seemed a better fashion in which to earn a living, and involved fewer instances of first degree burns to the feet". Then I reckon your clown follow up, which is excellent, would hit harder.
Oh, and I didn't like "win-win", it's your only gag I thought was a flop; but I liked the previous theft jokes a lot.
Small criticisms though. I think this is great for a first effort - for any effort, really - and I really look forward to seeing more. 
Thanks Badge - advice to work with. I filmed gig number two also (13 minutes, I doubt I'll post it) which was a completely different scenario - in a pub with no staff and no microphone (the guy who runs it didn't turn up). Felt much more immediate and a different relationship with the audience (of about 30 or so, I'd guess). I went a bit more chatty and a bit quicker - but sounded less fluent for it.
My next gig is in a month, at a charity variety night through work. It's in a side room at the Colston Hall - so far the audience is 170. A different challenge again - not least because as much as half of the audience will be colleagues, it's a cancer charity gig, and there will be lots of musical acts and choirs and, as I understand it, one comedian! They've given me two five minute slots. Do I really want to standup in front of my colleagues and talk about antelope sex?
Gappy - thanks for that. I like the trigger finger. Itworked much better second time because someone in the audience filled in "fired" for me, which was what I hoped for. But I take your points about formula. Was thinking McDonald needed a better follow on as it's tumbleweeded twice now.
Advice to anyone who's dithered like me over whether to have a go - do it. Do it and do it again. It's great fun - like the time you cracked a great gag in the pub to your mates, but multiplied massively.
Only, write something people will laugh at and,very very important, practise, out loud, as much as you can.
Great stuff, get the a microphone on stage if you can and sync to vid, couldn't hear it all clearly which was a shame as great delivery!
Good luck with the next one!
Very good...I liked the serious way you come across and loved the paper clips gag 
Cheers guys
My fifth gig was Colston Hall, Bristol - here's a brief clip:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y_xZmwj8DMw&feature=colike
Still having a few sound issues
And another
The paperclips one was great.
Good stuff Jack.
Some great jokes in there which always helps.