Art for Art’s Sake

INT DAY. AN ART GALLERY. AN ARTY COUPLE WALK THROUGH A DOOR MARKED, ‘FRUSTRATION ROOM’.

Man:
Oh, this is Frederick Zeigler’s new work – ‘Spudding’.

CUT TO SLOW ZOOM ON A MAN DRESSED ENTIRELY IN POTATO PEELINGS. HE IS GRIPPING A LARGE POTATO EXTREMELY TIGHTLY AND GRITTING HIS TEETH, GYRATING IN AN EXPRESSION OF APPALLING SUSPENDED FRUSTRATION.

Woman:
Wow, it really represents how contingent our thoughts are in relation to our inert bodies in times of political crisis.

Man:
I see it more as a deconstruction of agri-protest in an increasingly desertified and urbanised planet.

A SECURITY GUARD ENTERS AND LOOKS AT THE MAN HOLDING THE POTATO.

Security guard:
I think someone knicked his crisps.

ZOOM IN ON THE POTATO.

Voice of the potato:
Don’t take the piss, I’m starving up here.

FADE OUT WITH AN EXTREME CLOSE UP OF THE FACE OF THE MAN HOLDING THE POTATO AS HIS WAILS BECOME LOUDER.

I did a degree in Fine Art and I'm sorry to say I don't get it. Very sorry indeed.

Don't be sorry, D.B - it's surreal, so, as you'll know if you did Fine Art, its meaning is not explicit. I suppose you have to visualise it as a TV sketch - if you do that and it's still not funny then it's not funny (for you)!

Fred, don't get me wrong. Normally I get your stuff and like it a lot. This one is lost on me.

But I suppose if I read the script for the Spaced: vulva episode then it wouldn't have made much sense to me either and I loved that episode of Spaced. So maybe I need to 'see' it to 'see' it, if you know what I mean.

Not a bad idea... I wrote about an art critic a few threads ago called "St Martins finest" we should maybe put them together

This sort of Art is all about the critics. Produce any old shit and convince them it's Art and you're well away!

Half these Artists are laughing all the way to the bank at those pretentious tossers!

Bring my thread "St Martins Finest" back and read it again... I can't i'm not vain enough... but i'd love the attention... I crave attention... I was brought up by a pack of selfish wolves... I received no love in my early days... it was all hunt hunt hunt... and they never cooked it... Bastar* four legged wannabe tigers

I liked it Fred. Very visual and really creative.

Fred it was good BUT.....
No way near as good as your other stuff.
Sorry.
Defo very visual I will give you that.

I did get it & I still liked but your other stuff i lurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrve.

That's fine - thanks for the feedback everyone. I value your opinions. Sometimes when I have a hangover I get ideas that make me laugh a lot. It's usually these ones that are lost on the majority. Any teetotal comedy writers?