Nj - Cash 4 Access Sketches

Hi All,

Here are 2 short skits written about the cash for access scandal. This is my first attempt at writing a script of any form so feedback is welcome.

Cash For Access - Boris Johnson Sketch

Boris Johnson arrives at No. 10 and knocks at the door which is answered by the butler.

BUTLER:
Yes?

BORIS:
I'm here for my date with Dave.

BUTLER:
Of Course, have you brought your donation?

BORIS:
Yes I have it right here, every hit including walk the line and even the ring of fire.

BUTLER:
I think there's been a misunderstanding.

BORIS:
Look, it clearly states on the invitation 'bring cash for access!'

BUTLER:
Boris, you fool.

Cash For Access - The Donor Sketch

The scene opens with a door knocking sound effect.

BUTLER:
Good evening and welcome to the Cameron Residence, how may I help you?

MAN:
Yes I have a dinner date with the Prime minister.

BUTLER:
Ah yes, you must be one of the donors?

MAN:
That's correct, here's my invitation.

BUTLER:
May I see some identification?

MAN:
Of course. (sound of paper and loose change being rifled through).

BUTLER (Sounding bewildered):
I'm afraid you're not the kind of donor we're looking for sir.

MAN:
Really? But, I have all the major organs listed!

BUTLER:
One moment please.

A pause with muffled speaking in the background, before footsteps as the butler returns to the open doorway.

BUTLER:
The Prime minister will see you now.

They're a bit 'on the nose' for Newsjack, especially the first one, I would say. It's not quite that 'shifted' angle they're looking for.

They're not bad for a first attempt at sketch-writing though! You're thinking the correct way to write sketches so just lots (and lots!) of practice and it'll get there.

Hope this helps

Dan

Hi Dan,

Thanks for your response, I really enjoyed writing them although I wasn't sure whether they were the right format or not? Other than Newsjack are there any other shows or places, etc that I can practice sketch writing?? As I found having a loose target focused the brain to actually writing something.

Also, I've seen the skit comp on here and if I'm honest I'm not really sure what it is or how you enter it. I'm guessing it's just for fun but, if someone could explain I'd be very grateful.

Many thanks,

Jason.

Hi Jason

It's just for fun. Winner gets to pick the next comp's theme (I think -- I've not done it for a while).

There are two topical sketch shows on stage that take open submissions: News Revue and The Treason Show. There are threads for each in the Writing Opportunities forum (where you should be looking for any more opportunities too).

Posting here will usually get you some feedback and, for Newsjack (which is back in October for a new series) check out all the 'NJ:' sketches (there are quite a few here right back to series one) -- it'll teach you a lot about the tone of the show and how to (and how not to!) write for the show. The advice from others is probably the most useful stuff. Over the years, these forums have been invaluable in teaching me how to write properly.

A sketch-writing course might be helpful too. It's a good day out to meet a few new writers, which will probably help start out your writing career. Plenty in the London area, if that's easily accessible for you.

Hope all that's helpful

Dan