Dial a Celebrity
JUSTIN:
A new phone service has been launched in the US, which puts ordinary people in contact with their favourite minor celebrities... who coincidentally are also ordinary people. For instance, in return for forking out $25 per minute, you can have a conversation with Lindsay Lohan's mother... before hanging up and asking yourself - 'what has become of my life?' In fact, the hotline's proving so successful, that plans are afoot to launch a similar service here in Britain.
FX:
PHONE RINGS
JUSTIN:
Hello.
CALLER:
Hi - is this Dial-a-Celebrity?
JUSTIN:
Indeed it is.
CALLER:
May I ask who's speaking?
JUSTIN:
Oh, come on - surely you recognise my voice?
SILENCE
JUSTIN:
(CONT'D) It's me - Justin Edwards!
CALLER:
Who?
JUSTIN:
You know, Justin Edwards - presenter of Newsjack!
CALLER:
Newsjack?
JUSTIN:
You know - the popular programme on Radio 4 Extra.
CALLER:
I didn't realise there was a Radio 4 Extra! What else have you appeared in?
JUSTIN:
Well, I also star in a little show called... The Thick of It!
CALLER:
Ooh - I love that programme! What character do you play?
JUSTIN:
Ben Swain.
CALLER:
I'm sorry?
JUSTIN:
Ben Swain!
CALLER:
I'm afraid I'm not able to... visualise you! Which episodes were you in, last series?
JUSTIN:
Erm... episode six.
CALLER:
What, just the ONE episode?
JUSTIN:
Well... yes.
CALLER:
Oh - so you only play a very MINOR character, then?
JUSTIN:
Well, I wouldn't put it quite like that.
CALLER:
Hang on... Justin Edwards? Aren't you the guy that choked Tulisa?
JUSTIN:
Supposing I say 'yes' - will you stay on the line even though it's costing you £6.50 per minute?
CALLER:
Of course!
JUSTIN:
Then guilty as charged - your honour!