PRIMARY SCHOOL CLASSROOM. IT'S PARENT'S EVENING AND A MOTHER AND FATHER ARE SITTING ON TINY CHAIRS AT A DESK DISCUSSING THE PROGRESS OF THEIR SON, JOHNNY.
TEACHER: Johnny's done exceptionally well this term. An absolute joy to teach, always asking questions and wanting to find out more. He's polite, his written work is first class and his homework is the first in every time. What's more he is very supportive of all the other children.
THE PARENTS LOOK AT EACH OTHER PROUDLY
TEACHER: It's just such as shame I'm a pathological liar who shouldn't even be on the premises because I'm suspended pending a sexual harassment charge and for pushing drugs to the kids in year four.
END
