Here's something that's definitely not in tonight.
Dan
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Archbishopless Now
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JUSTIN:
As he announces he is to step down from the role of Archbishop of Canterbury, Rowan Williams also this week plans to wage war on the government in his remaining days, particularly in areas where he has tremendous authority, such as wearing a cardboard hat and having too much hair all around his head but almost none on top.
ATMOS:WAR MOVIE TRAILER
V/O:
He was strained beyond his worst nightmares by irresponsible capitalism...
FOLLOWER:
Is that war paint, Your Grace?
AoC:
I'm trying to be more relevant.
V/O:
He was severely tested by a government forcing through radical policies no-one voted for...
AoC:
What are you doing, Bishop of Bradford?
BoB:
I'm updating the CoE website with some really very forthright opinion!
AoC:
You can either surf. Or you can fight!
V/O:
And now he was leaving, he really didn't give a flying fu--
AoC:
Ahem.
V/O:
(SELF-CONSCIOUS) --udge. But, finally, with the possibility of same sex marriage, they'd pushed him over the edge!
AoC:
Man of great humility, MY ASS!
F/X
OLDIERS RUNNING. SHOUTS, GUNS ARMED
V/O:
A man with nothing to lose. Except his title. And a large congregation.
FOLLOWER:
What's that, your beardyness?
AoC:
(SNIFFS IN LONG AND HARD) Ahhhhhhh! I love the smell of incense in the morning!
F/X
ISTANT HELICOPTERS. AS THEY APPROACH, 'ALL THINGS BRIGHT AND BEAUTIFUL' CAN BE HEARD.
AoC:
This is for the common good, do you hear me!? The. Common. Good!!
F/X:MACHINE-GUNS
AoC:
(ROARS) Aaaaaaaaaaaaaammmmmmmmeeeeennnnnnnnnnnn!
V/O:
Archbishopless Now. Coming soon to a diocese near you. (BEAT) Peace be with you.
END
