1st of a series of sketches involving Conspiracy Man.aka Jeff
He believes most of things in life are a Conspiracy and that our daily lives are being controlled by the powerful elite, [ politicians, royalty, oil barons etc ]
Sketch opens with Jeff and friend talking around a table in a pub.
Jeff: "Global warming, don't talk to me about global warming, it's a massive conspiracy to stop the third world from industrializing "
Friend :[ not that interested, has heard it all before from Jeff ]
" Right Jeff, global warming ..yer "
Jeff : " And I've been thinking, When did you last run out of petrol ?"
Friend : " Well...."
Jeff :" Have you ever ran out of petrol ? "
Friend: " To be honest I probably haven't, I always check my petrol gauge. "
Jeff : "Do you know anyone whose car has stopped because it ran out of petrol ?"
Friend:" No because everyone I know.."
Jeff :[ interrupting ] " Exactly and you know why you have never heard of anyone's car stopping ?..because it's a conspiracy "
Friend: " What is ? "
Jeff: " Petrol , we don't need it. I have been thinking about this for a while. You spend 100 quid a week on a product that's totally useless. The petrol gauges are designed to go down at a regular pace and that make us all believe we need to put petrol in our cars. So we go into the garage and give all our money to the great oil barons in America and the Middle East. I tell you it's a wind up and we have all bought into it for years and years. Not any more mate, I have rumbled it. The evil bastards "
Next scene
Friend :[ [in bed asleep later that day / the phone rings, he wakes up and answers it ] " Hello "
View of Jeff at a motorway emergency phone.
Jeff: " Hi, It's Jeff, could you come and pick me up mate"
