Film Trailer: Eric Joyce
JUSTIN:
Labour MP Eric Joyce has been banned from all drinking establishments in Britain... which is a shame, because after two weeks of trying - I've finally come up with my first 'Eric Joyce walks into a bar...' joke. However, there has been one piece of good news for the disgraced politician this week... it turns out that Hollywood is planning to adapt his story for the big screen!
FILM TRAILER BEGINS
V/O:
With social justice under threat, one man decided to start dishing out his own brand... of ROUGH JUSTICE!
ERIC:
You've cut public spending... so now I'm going to cut your face!
GRAMSRAMATIC MUSIC
V/O:
Fighting the forces of austerity... literally!
ERIC:
So, you want to destroy the NHS, do yer? Well, when I'm done with you pal - your BUPA premium's going through the roof!
V/O:
Defending the welfare state... by leaving its opponents in a bloody state!
ERIC:
If you reduce child benefit... I promise yer - I'll reduce your life expectancy!
V/O:
Protesting privatisation... with well-directed kicks to the privates!
ERIC:
I've got a special delivery for Mr I Want to Privatise the Royal Mail... my foot delivered to your scrotal sack!
V/O:
Enhancing social mobility... by rendering its detractors immobile!
ERIC:
You voted to increase tuition fees - so now it's time for me to teach you a lesson... a lesson in the art of violence!
V/O:
Coming soon to a cinema near you... Eric Joyce in... 'No Country for Conservative Men'!