Justin -To keep teens from happy slapping well known radio four extra presenters the intelligence agency GCHQ have backed a competition to crown the first Cyber Security Champion; who won the contest after cleverly clicking "Full Scan". But this is not a modern phenomenon we have recently discovered an archive recording of a similar competition held way back in nineteen twenty three
F/X crackling to indicate the recording is old
Host - Gentlemen - as all ladies should be at home preparing our supper - welcome to the final of Side-Draw Security Champion. In the left corner protecting Mr. Business-Owner financial documents is William. In the right corner protecting Mr. Point special interest magazines is Harry. And we're off.
Man 1 - Hello William. I am a Nigerian prince and I would like to make you rich. Step away from your financial documents and we shall discuss the issue
William - No thank you, sir. I have a job to do
Host- Great side step from William. How is Harry getting along?
Mrs. Point - Hello. I'm Mrs Point can I just get into the side draw
Harry - (Nervous) What's the password?
Woman1 - Password one
Host - Oh no she's entered the password. What can he do now? Wait he appears to be pouring whiskey on the floor and now he's dropping a match onto it
F/X fire burning
Mrs. Point - I'll just walk by this
Host - She's past the firewall and she's found the magazines
Mrs. Point - You can clearly see these harlots ankles. The Beast!
F/X MRS. POINT faints and hits the floor
Host - There goes Mrs. Point. That is a problem with living in an age where women constantly faint. But that means we have a winner.
END