NJ EasyCop

Starting to dip my toes into sketch writing for NJ.. Grateful for any views. I know I'm missing a joke in the intro...
Thx Lippy x

JUSTIN:Big news this week is that Surrey and West Midlands forces are putting various police functions out to tender in the first step of what might be a major change in the way policing is provided. It won't be long before private sector organisations are.....

EASYCOP: Excuse me. Mr Edwards?

JUSTIN: Yes.

EASYCOP: You're under arrest.

JUSTIN: I'm sorry?

EASYCOP: I'm from EasyCop. Stelios' new no-frills police service. I'm going to have to ask you to accompany me to the station.

JUSTIN: Well look this is really inconvenient. I'm making a radio show. What are the charges?

EASYCOP: Very competitive sir. £35 if you'd like a transfer to the station (although to be honest we'll still drop you 45 miles away from where you're going), £19.50 for fingerprinting and £75 for a single cell supplement.

JUSTIN: That last one sounds steep

EASYCOP: Well, you can share a cell if you like. But do be aware you only get one bar of soap between you, so be careful if you drop it. Would you like the handcuffs?

JUSTIN: Does that cost anything?

EASYCOP: It's on special at twenty pounds an hour.

JUSTIN: Well at least that's cheaper than I usually pay.

EASYCOP: I just need to read you your rights. You are not obliged to say anything, but anything you do say will be written down and used against you in a marketing campaign. Are you a speedy boarder?

JUSTIN: Nope.

EASYCOP: Oh dear. We do advise all our prisoners - sorry customers - to consider speedy boarding. It's open seating in the police van - and quite a scrap at this time of night. Did you pack these bags yourself? Oh sorry that's the wrong list.

JUSTIN: Does EasyCop run the custody suite as well?

EASYCOP: No. That'll be provided by Travelodge, once they've upgraded their rooms to meet basic human rights.

JUSTIN: I am a loyalty card holder with Travelodge if that makes any difference.

EASYCOP: Excellent. In that case I can offer someone to carry your bags. Constable.

WELSH WORK EXPERIENCE GIRL FROM EP 1 & 2:
Why do I get all the rubbish jobs. I wanted to drive the police car and go through red lights and stuff. I'm going back to Tescos.

END

There is some jolly good stuff in there, but could maybe do with a little bit of a trim.

Not sure if they would go for the callback on the Welsh girl or not, which I suppose makes for a risky strategy.

Quote: lippy @ March 9 2012, 7:44 PM GMT

JUSTIN: Well look this is really inconvenient. I'm making a radio show. What are the charges?

EASYCOP: Very competitive sir. £35 if you'd like a transfer to the station (although to be honest we'll still drop you 45 miles away from where you're going), £19.50 for fingerprinting and £75 for a single cell supplement.

View original

Lovely.

The idea is great, but it's not quite there. Maybe it needed an advert featuring Stelios rather than an interview with Justin...

Yeah, very good in places but agree with RJ -- surely it's better to go with the ad rather than the interview.

A lot of funny lines though. As Timbo mentioned, I'd drop the Welsh work experience, not least because Nadia Kamil wasn't in this episode's cast!

Dan

Thanks guys. Some helpful pointers that make sense. I think the call back to the welsh work experience girl was a mistake as - if they didn't like that - there was no alternative punch line to work with. I noticed and grimaced that Nadia was not in the cast on Tuesday or Wednesday.

Also approaching it as an ad makes sense now. There could have been a lot of comic content in that. You live and learn.

Thanks very much.