Justin - Nearly half work aged adults have the numeracy ability of a primary school child - not even a clever child the one with the jelly phobia that calls the teacher "mommy". To tackle this problem the government have adopted a novel approach
F/X soft child like music introduction.
Woman 1 - Hello and welcome to the new channel C
F/X Beep as in covering swearing
Woman 1 - (CON/T) ies. Let me introduce you to my best-est friend in the whole wide world Drunken Dinosaur
Dinosaur - (Slurring) I don't feel well
F/X DINOSAUR being sick
Woman 1 - Now viewers, how many carrots are in the sick? One carrot. Two Carrot. Three Carrot. There are three carrots in the sick
Dinosaur - Think I had a bad pint - the eighth one tasted funny
Woman 1 - Our next challenge is a tiny weensy bit more difficult, but you can do it. Can't they Drunken Dinosaur?
Dinosaur - Who you eyeballing?
Woman 1 - (Laughing) Dinosaur! Let's begin. If one pint of lager costs three pound twenty five and it takes two pints of lager to think the karaoke stage is the O2 arena and a further four pints of lager to give you the courage to tell your best friend you love him, how much would it cost to butcher a song and have your oldest friend question your sexuality? Send you're answers on a postcode along with pictures of your body art for next weeks "tattoo corner".
Dinosaur - I could have played for England!
Woman 1 - (laughing) Oh Drunken Dinosaur
END