This isn't funny or original or in good taste.
If you choose to read it, then that's your problem.
SCENE1 Dr Youlittle, an upright Victorian gentleman in a suit and stove pipe hat is looking at a bucolic scene.
In a barn a cow is about to give birth. Farmer Piles and Dr Youlittle's assisstant look on.
FARMER PILES
Oooh aarr Dr You Little. Moi daisy won't calf, can you talk to her. I hears you have the gift.
PATRICK
The gift for talking to the animals. What do you think Dr?
Dr Youlittle stares at Daisy and carefully rubs his chin.
DRYOULITTLE
Mooo, moo ?
DAISY
Mooo
FARMERPILES
What's she saying?
PATRICK
Shh the Dr needs complete silence.
DAISY
Moooooo
Dryoulittle picks up a 3 legged milking stool.
PATRICK
The Dr's ready.
Dryoulittle hits Daisy in the head with the stool. Daisy falls to the ground and Dr Youlittle proccedes to kick Daisy to death.
Farmerpiles and Patrick try to wrestle Dr Youlittle away.
PATRICK
Not again Dr!
FARMERPILES
Daisy!
DRYOULITTLE
Die you f**ker! I'll teach you to call me a donkey f**ker!
SCENE2
An Victorian zoo a large crowd are being held back by some police officers.
A little monkey is sitting in a tree watching events.
Patrick holding a big fruit basket stands next to Dr Youlittle Patrick is talking to the zoo keeper.
Zookeeper
That cheeky chappy snuck out of his cage. He's calm at the moment but he could start throwing plops at any moment.
Patrick
The Dr is on the case.
Zookeeper
He might even start pulling his little winkle. There are ladies in the crowd.
Dryoulittle
Fruit Patrick
Patrick hands him a banana
Dryoulittle waves the banana away and grunts
Patrick hands Dryoulittle a pineapple.
Zookeeper
A pineapple? Don't monkeys traditionally like bananas. That pineapple might the little fella more likely to yank his little knobber.
Patrick
The Dr knows his business, that monkey won't touch his business.
Dryoulittle throws the pineapple smacking the monkey out of the tree. Dr grabs a coconut and runs over to the stunned monkey.
He uses the coconut to smash the monkeys skull open.
Dryoulittle
I don't f**k donkeys, you little bastard!
Patrick
That could have gone better.
SCENE3
A beach a dozen disapointed urchins are queuing by a sign reading
"donkey rides"
Patrick stands next to mr Donkeyrides
MRDONKEYRIDES
Where is the Dr and where's my donkey?
PATRICK
Erm
OOV Loud neighing
OOV Dryoulittle
Why do you make me do it you little dirty bitch!