hi guys, I'm looking for some feedback on some songs I have written. I have uploaded them to www.youtube.com/ianwatsoncomedy I have 5 vids on there at the moment but I will upload a few more when I have time (i have over 10 more written but I'm reluctant to call them finished just yet).
the singing is a bit rough on a couple of them so I apologies for that. its more constructive criticism on the lyrics im after (or the music if it hindering the comedy in any way).
cheers ian
If you want to make it as a musical comedian, you need to learn how to sing and play guitar. That's the bottom line of this feedback really.
The guitar intro to the first song I listened to, "Gay For Johnny Depp", the strumming was really off-putting. The songs themselves were rather poorly put together (both lyrically, and in terms of the basic construction of songs in general). The poor recording of the vocals meant it was hard to understand at parts.
I don't mean to be rude, but I don't think you have what it takes at this point. You need some proper lessons in singing, guitar playing, composing and lyric writing if you really want to do this well.
Here are some great Bo Burnham videos to cheer you up after reading all of that ^ 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z-ap5Fp2T6c http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eo9pU1q8sy8
thanks for taking the time to listen to it. I was worried about the singing and how easy it was to understand. I will redo them when I get a chance.
what do you mean that the strumming was off-putting? was it that the guitar was too loud? I can finger pick the songs but I find its too quite for gigs with no real PA. plus I have tried to keep the music as simple as possible. I wanted the style to me closer to some one like stephen lynch than some one like tim minchin.
as for the construction of the songs, my thinking is im not a fan of courses in comedy songs. so few of my songs have them. its more to do with not telling the same joke twice (or 3 times) in the same song. but I guess it would add a 'real' structure to the songs.
do you have any positives from it? what did you think of the jokes at least?
thanks for the feedback, your the first person to criticise my songs. after gigs every one is always complementary. and they get plenty of laughs so I know they are okay. but im looking to improve them all the time and for that I need more critical feedback (but feel free to let me know the bits that are good as well, I don't want to accidentally take out the better jokes).
and im not a big fan of bo. he has a couple of good songs but I don't think either of them songs are a good example of 'how it should be done'