Porn Industry Strike
JUSTIN:
Research has shown that 50% of men admit to using pornography - whilst common sense dictates that the other 50% are liars. Bearing this in mind, it's not hard to see why the threat of strike action by the Los Angeles porn industry, has caused such alarm during recent days. Joining me now to discuss this is Willy Woody - a man who's directed over 700 adult films... since the turn of the year.
WILLY:
Alright Justin?
JUSTIN:
So Willy - what's this dispute all about?
WILLY:
Basically it's a textbook case of elf 'n' safety gone mad! You see, the politicians in L.A. - or as I prefer to call them - hysterical fascists - have passed a new law making condom use compulsory in porn films!
JUSTIN:
And I take it you disagree with them?
WILLY:
Well, it's a nonsense, ain't it? I mean, since when has a bit of unprotected sex ever harmed anybody?
JUSTIN:
(DISAPPROVING) Hmm. Just how widespread is opposition to the law within the industry itself?
WILLY:
Well, I know for a fact that one hundred per cent of the male performers support strike action.
JUSTIN:
One hundred per cent?
WILLY:
That's right - all three of them!
JUSTIN:
And how about the women?
WILLY:
Well, let's just say that the only scabs you'll find amongst them - are the product of intravenous drug use!
JUSTIN:
Lovely. Now, assuming the strike goes ahead - what kind of impact do you think it will have?
WILLY:
Well, if production in L.A. grinds to a halt - then perverts - or as I prefer to call them - consumers - will be forced to turn elsewhere... which could amongst other things, result in the British porn industry enjoying a renaissance!
JUSTIN:
A renaissance? But that implies that there was once a time when Britain had a reputation for producing quality porn, which is... ahistorical!
WILLY:
I didn't realise that you were an expert on the subject, Justin?
JUSTIN:
I'm not!
WILLY:
Come to think of it - you actually look a bit familiar! Didn't I meet you at... (JUSTIN GAGS WILLY)... mmmh... mmmhhhh!
JUSTIN:
(FLUSTERED) Willy Woody - thank you!