One more for the rejects bin
Dan
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Easyjet Monetisation
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JUSTIN:
There was uproar this week, when Easyjet asked a man to pay for an extra-seat, for his dialysis machine. Unfortunately, the only way he could afford to pay for it was by selling a kidney.
F/X
OOR CLOSING
CEO:
Erm, chaps? What's this about us charging a full-price ticket for a dialysis machine?
KEITH:
Yes, boss! It was in response to your call to think outside the box!
SARAH:
To monetise other elements of the business? We hope you're proud, boss!
CEO:
So now we're charging for vital medical equipment?
KEITH:
Not just that, boss!
SARAH:
Ailments too!
CEO:
Ailments?!
KEITH:
Yes. Coughs, colds, chicken pox!
SARAH:
There's a surcharge on each!
CEO:
We charge a surcharge on chicken pox?
KEITH:
Lots of surcharges, boss!
SARAH:
Yes, it's per pock!
CEO:
Oh. Oh my god.
KEITH:
You okay, boss?
CEO:
Ooooh. (HEAVING) Nausea.
SARAH:
Great idea, boss!
KEITH:
Make 'em sick, then charge 'em more!
SARAH:
Awesome!
F/X:HEAVING AND VOMITING
KEITH:
Oh no! That's a shame.
CEO:
No, no. I'm okay.
KEITH:
No, not that, boss. There's a clean-up fee.
SARAH:
2% surcharge for card payments. Or cash.
END