The pick of my sketches this week:
JUSTIN:
In this life, you only get what you pay for...as the Tesco security guard said to Antony Worrell Thompson. Some companies are challenging this adage thanks to the government's controversial Get Britain Working programme. Here to discuss the issue is Conservative MP, Kay Scatalog.
KAY:
Hello.
JUSTIN:
The Get Britain Working programme, is it slave labour?
KAY:
Of course it isn't. It's a way to give young people valuable work experience.
JUSTIN:
But they don't get paid.
KAY:
They get JSA.
JUSTIN:
A Joke Slave Allowance?
KAY:
No, erm...
JUSTIN:
Jack. Screwed again.
KAY:
No. Jobseeker's Allowance.
JUSTIN:
But no wages?
KAY:
Well no.
JUSTIN:
What happens if they misbehave? Can you sell them on to a different firm?
KAY:
Listen, can you stop insinuating that these people are slaves. It's wildly inaccurate and offensive.
JUSTIN:
Answer me this. At break time, are these people allowed to sit at the front of the canteen?
KAY:
They can sit where they like.
JUSTIN:
What happened when a normal worker comes in, do they have to move to the back?
KAY:
I can see what you're doing, but you can forget it. They're not slaves.
JUSTIN:
Have any of these 'workers' gone on to get a full time job? You know, one with a wage?
KAY:
They have. One of our apprentices at a television production company has just been taken on. He's going to be the chauffeur for Celebrity Juice.
JUSTIN:
What are his duties?
KAY:
He's got to pick up Cotton.