JUSTIN Much like Eric Pickles falling down the stairs, the Euro crisis is gaining momentum; and also like Eric Pickles falling down the stairs the damage it's causing is substantial.
An ongoing victim to the crisis, RBS have announced an annual loss of two billion pounds. But despite this, it is paying out almost eight hundred million pounds in bonuses, rewarding failure on a Fabio Capello scale.
To explain the situation in detail we have former RBS boss and Knight, Fred Goodwin.
FRED GOODWINHello.
JUSTINThe question that is on everyone's lips is why do banks reward failure?
FRED GOODWINWell my boy, do you know just how hard it is to run a bank? Let me tell you, very.
JUSTINI imagine so, but surely that can't justify the level of bonuses we're seeing?
FRED GOODWINLet me put it this way, what's the toughest thing you've had to do today?
JUSTINI don't know, probably mustering up the effort not to beat you with your own petard.
FRED GOODWINExactly, I get that urge all the time. I hate me, I'm an arse. But I don't have a choice, I have to be with me. It's very difficult.
JUSTINBut other than being you, what made the job actual job difficult?
FRED GOODWINSudoku.
JUSTINSudoku?
FRED GOODWINMetro Sudoku, bloody impossible. That was most my morning gone right there.
JUSTINYou misunderstand me, what about the job made it tough?
FRED GOODWINLunch; the chef always overcooked the filet mignon, that was tough. We had a saying in RBS, great at cooking the books but not the beef, ah hah, hah, hah. Just a little banker joke.
JUSTINWhat's your favourite joke?
FRED GOODWINGeorge Osborne.
JUSTINMine too. But we're getting off topic here, what exactly is so difficult about running a multi-national bank?
FRED GOODWINFinance, it's bloody boring, do you know how boring?
JUSTINTo be honest I'm barely been paying attention to this conversation. Mr Goodwin how did you cope?
FRED GOODWINWell the pension helps, as did the knighthood. And now all I have is the pension... It's humiliating losing my knighthood and all the while knowing, that bastard, Jeffry Archer still has his.
JUSTINFred Goodwin, thank you.