I didn't send this one. Probably needs a rewrite I think.
Dan
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McScience Meals
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JUSTIN:
Scientists this week claimed that meat grown entirely from cow stem cells may be available for sale within the year. A good 11 months and 3 weeks longer than growing a new cast for Geordie Shore.
ATMOS:MCDONALDS
CUSTOMER:
Erm, hello. What's the... McStephen McHawking McMeal?
EMPLOYEE:
Well, madam, that includes a burger grown from stem cells, fries cooked with antiprotons in the Large Hadron Collider and a drink oxygenated with negative energy wormhole bubbles.
CUSTOMER:
Sounds cosmic! How much is it?
EMPLOYEE:
Half a million pounds.
CUSTOMER:
Woah! A bit out of my price range, I'm afraid.
EMPLOYEE:
You could get a research grant?
CUSTOMER:
For lunch?!
EMPLOYEE:
Then maybe something a little less cutting edge? How about a McBrian McCox McMeal? (WHIMSICAL) Amazing burger, amazing fries, amazing drink... You don't eat it -- you sit back staring at it in wonder.
CUSTOMER:
Sounds like it will only disappoint.
EMPLOYEE:
Don't worry: its background noise is too loud for you to concentrate properly.
CUSTOMER:
Have you got something a little more... utilitarian?
EMPLOYEE:
Ah, you're expecting pragmatism from your food! Then, you'll be wanting our McRichard McDawkins McMeal.
CUSTOMER:
What's that then?
EMPLOYEE:
"Unarguably dead cow" burger, "chips, they're just chips, nothing special" fries and sodastreamed, tooth-decaying fizzy soda pop. And, of course, it's free.
CUSTOMER:
Sounds good to me.
EMPLOYEE:
You will have to renounce God, and any other form of deity or religion though.
CUSTOMER:
Seems a high price to pay... but I am in a rush. Serve me one up.
EMPLOYEE:
No problems, madam. Do you want to go supernova?
CUSTOMER:
No, just regular thanks.
END