British Comedy Guide

NJ: Diary of an M25 Guide

I don't even think this story was mentioned, so a little ambitious to give it a regular slot.

Also, theirs was better.

Dan

=====================
Diary of an M25 Guide
=====================
JUSTIN:
A coach firm this week announced that it would be launching trips of quite literally the most exciting thing in the country: guided tours of the M25. 'It's a complete sell-out'... said everyone hoping it would retain its amateur motorway status. But what could be more edge-of-your-seat bum-shuddering, than a run-down of a week in the life of an M25 Tour Guide...

MONDAY:
Number of hours stuck in traffic: 2! Number of days as tour guide: 1! Amazing! Loving new job! People are all very interesting and great turn-out. Even rain didn't ruin my first day as M25 tour guide. Pretty much perfect job for me! Long may it continue!

TUESDAY:
Number of hours stuck in traffic: 8. Number of people who came on tour yesterday: 43. Spent most of the day at junction 10 waiting to see the an accident that had cleared by the time we got there. Wonderful view off QE2 bridge but all top deck soaked by downpours. Starting to get monotonous. May look for new job.

WEDNESDAY:
Number of hours stuck in traffic: 14. Number of people informing me graffiti on bridge says 'Give PEAS a chance' not 'peace': 70. Interesting new asphalt combination at Bluewater. Feel like whole career going around in circles. Applied for new job.

THURSDAY:
Number of hours stuck in traffic: 25. Number of hours counting number of hours stuck in traffic: 25. Lunch at Clacket Lane services. For fourth consecutive day. They have installed a refurbished cash machine that charges 1.74 a transaction. Am now the most boring person I know. So boring I don't even listen to myself. No news of new job. May throw myself off top deck.

FRIDAY:
Got new job! Bye, bye boring, *boring* M25 tour guide job! Exciting times! Start Monday! Based in Bedfordshire! Tour Guide for M1 roadworks!

END

For once I am going to criticise a sketch for not being boring enough. Think you could have ratcheted up the tedium. Good punch though.

Share this page